Should you go after a crush if you’re only trying to form a FWB type of relationship
SW-User
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SW-User
lol. That's pretty freaking selfish hon. If she's a crush, you must like her more than a FWB relationship. And, if you do like her, you're hurting your chances of having something more with her. If it's just lust, and not a crush, recognize it for what it is and act accordingly. Whatever you do, be upfront about what you want so you don't have a psycho on your hands later.
SW-User
@SW-User that’s what I’m thinking. She’s beautiful and I haven’t spent anytime with her outside of work and a few co-workers and I went drinking and she said she wanted to go but was a minor so the voice of reason in the group wouldn’t let her. I kinda felt bad about because I’ve been drinking since 16 so I have no business telling a 19 year old not to drink. And since she brought it up I’ve been thinking about it all night. And I know if we date it will mostly be lust on my side it’s why I don’t talk to her to much we flirt a lot at work. I’ve liked her for a while but don’t see me having a serious relationship with her.
SW-User
@SW-User If you don't mind some advice, "don't shit where you eat." If you don't care about your job, then by all means, do what makes you happy. But, something like what you're describing, will not end well, no matter what direction, relationship or FWB, you take. She's young and probably doesn't have a lot of experience. She might fall hard for you and, if you're not interested in a full on relationship with her, you're going to have a scene on your hands in front of co-workers.
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I've made the mistake of getting involved with men I've worked with AND lived near. All with an understanding of a FWB relationship. When you get physically involved with someone, most people can't help but get emotionally involved after a while. When that happens, and one of you isn't on board with seeing if a LTR will work, it never ends well.
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I've made the mistake of getting involved with men I've worked with AND lived near. All with an understanding of a FWB relationship. When you get physically involved with someone, most people can't help but get emotionally involved after a while. When that happens, and one of you isn't on board with seeing if a LTR will work, it never ends well.
SW-User
@SW-User yeah I’m 22 and really all I want in life is a family get married and have kids. So I don’t really want to mess around with someone I don’t see leading to that. And for all I know she could be the one, but realistically I’m more driven by lust with her than my goals of having a family I don’t know if I need to change my mindset, or if that’s just all I want from her and nothing is going to change. I definitely think going out with her last night would have been a mistake but I thought about her all night.
Zelllambert · 31-35, F
@SW-User I had a relationship with someone I worked with, I wanted to settle with them and then they split saying they only saw us as friends. Yea my time working from that point was awful and I only recovered after they left. Just being in work with him made everyone else feel uncomfortable and I spent most of the time thinking about suicide.
SW-User
@Zelllambert I’m sorry that happened to you. No one should feel that way I’ve had my own problems with that most of myself since before I was a teenager