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What's the logic behind this relationship?

I know a guy (in his late 30s), who's been in love with this one particular female for years. He's always talking about her, almost bordering on obsession. He's convinced that they're gonna get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.

Meanwhile, the girl he's madly in love with has repeatedly stated that she hates him and wishes he was dead. She tried cutting off all contact with him, changing her number, and ignoring him at all costs. Despite all that, he still continues to send her large sums of cash, love letters, and roses in the mail. And she still hates him. He bought her a brand new car, and still...hates him. Clearly, he can't but her affection.

But how could someone be obsessed with a person who's shown clear hatred for them?
Miram · 31-35, F
Even I dislike him after reading this, and her.

Why would any decent person accept a car as a gift from a guy they claim to hate?
Really...and what does he say? That she still loves him? @StrangeLife94
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@MissMollyCharlotte0702 He's convinced she'll see the light and come running to him...ready and willing to get married. No joke.
SW-User
I was obsessed with one well not with her but when she cheated on me after the perfect relationship (we were 17 and went to lose our virginity together but neither of us fulfilled and continued with foreplay) but other than that we had something there, I thought we were high school sweethearts that will marry and have kids. Then out of the blue she cheated and also chose to be with him over me. We stayed friends because I still loved her, then her new guy wanted to stab me, so there was drama there and me and a friend drove around to give him a touch up and show him we take those threats seriously. But he hid away and we gave up. Then me and this girl stopped talking because of this drama and she heard people talking that I was a dealer, associating with gangs, in a way it helped me push her away.
Months later she had trouble with him, told me she was breaking up with him. I moved to the western suburbs (opposite side of the city) after Mum kicked me out of home, she tracked me down and caught public transport to the house I lived at. I got worried because where I was it was nowhere for her to be on her own.
Then she went to kiss me after talking, I said you don’t want me back now. I’m not who you loved anymore. So I observed to her what kind of life I was living. I told her to never come here on her own again because it’s too unsafe.
So I drove her all the way home back in the east side.
When I dropped her off I told her, this maybe the last you will see me if not the next time, that’s my life now (back then). I grew up.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
She takes his money and gifts??
I don’t know who is crazier the guy or the woman. Both belong together. @StrangeLife94
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
SweetMae · 70-79, F
@StrangeLife94 They deserve each other!
Fungirlmmm · 51-55
She's a crazy user and he's a crazy stalker.
SW-User
Does she actually accept the gifts?
Edit: I just saw below that you said she does.
Then she's her own worst enemy and it'll be her undoing sadly.
SW-User
it's not logical. emotion isn't often logical. especially love, infatuation, whatever.
This sounds like infatuation, not love.

From Symmetry Counseling page
[quote]Obsession, addictive love, or lust- infatuation can knock you off your feet in much the same way as falling in love. However, feelings are often distorted by lack of perception, illogical thoughts and a focus on yourself rather than the feelings of the person who is the object of your affection. [/quote]
SweetMae · 70-79, F
@midnightrose Sounds very appropriate to this situation.
AkAtSUki · F
He's masochistic. He loves to be hated.
wakanda4eva · 22-25, F
Some people like to be hated, it makes em want to pursue them more cos their confirming all the taits they think of themself, so they are "real" but it can become super abusive and toxic for both parties, that's one intrepation anyway
In his mind she loves him. In his mind they are in love. He needs psychiatric help...she needs a restraining order. If she marries or has children with someone else he may lose it and God forbid kill her. Holy Moses...he is scary.
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@MissMollyCharlotte0702 She already has had children. One's that aren't his. He actually spent a lot of money on her kids. Buying them new clothes, electronics, food, school supply, etc. He's actually attempted to spoil them. And of course she allows it. But still, she hates his guts. She won't even allow him to hold her hand or enter her house...and he's still loyal.
Dewms ·
WHAT THE HECK
Inquisator · M
that's the mind of a serious mental ill stalker..
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@Inquisator Well that escalated quickly
Inquisator · M
@StrangeLife94 but he was a real nice chap.. Unless you were his girlfriend and tried to break up :-(
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@Inquisator lol...well yeah
SW-User
Everybody matured at their own pace. I was obsessed with a girl for a long time.

It wasn’t until I let myself experience life that I forgot about her.
SW-User
Is she accepting the money and gifts??
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@SW-User yes
SW-User
@StrangeLife94 then she's a shitty person.
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@SW-User Indeed
R5000 · 41-45, M
I think i saw that movie . Jennifer Aniston? Ryan Reynolds?
Is this what they called 'love is blind'?? 😂😂
He is delusional, mentally ill.
StrangeLife94 · 26-30, M
@lorelei I wouldn't doubt it.
sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M
Obsession isn't rational.

 
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