My bf spends too much time on his phone

@LadyGrace I know from dealing with my own addictions
a mate can complain until hell freezes over ,nothing will change
But getting left ,that will make you reevaluate lots of things
only my ex's were already past the point of no return ,,they were gone for good
but I have come to see ,forcing people make choices ,works way better
Every wrong choice I have ever made has cost me ,and big
but it makes me less likely to repeat them in the future

@rckt148 Agreed. However, a more subtle approach to begin with should be tried, for starters, I believe. Doesn’t mean it will work, but it will sure show you real quick where you stand and how important you are to that person. If you’ve got a hot-headed person right off the bat, that’s a big red flag. No communication, no relationship.

Thank you, I will try saying something in the moment, that is helpful.

@LadyGrace Yea if all a person cares about is a phone ,and your just there
to me thats a no brainer ,,like I said ,,ask for some of that attention
and if you don't get it you know where you stand .
You and I have a life time of experience to base our opinions on ,so often times its not opinion anymore its sound judgment ,or doctrine that has stood the test of time ..but the young people today have become accustomed to the blind leading the blind
and now they have more information than any other generation so they think that makes them smart and wise because they can google something and start spouting things I didn't know and now all the sudden they think that has turned the tables
Except 1 I have a phone too ,,,2 I lived through most of the stuff they are looking up ,and acting like they know more than I do
Way to often I seen how the Whole story played out ,,and that crap they just fed me was a tid bit ,,now I can tell you the rest of the story as Paul Harvey used to say ..
So my experience has taught me ,,if you have been with your man 5 yrs ,and he is still waiting for the "Right time " to put a ring on your finger ,,,well
You need to try the no more sex until I get a ring and a date approach ,or be prepaired that it may just remain this way ,unless you upset the cart and he leaves you for some one that won't nag him so much about marriage ..after all
you don't own him or have any ties ,he can stay or go as he pleases
But a marriage at least shows he wanted a commitment .but if
He is comfortable with the way things are ,(and no I don't know them but I know the MO ,that is how I made a living for a while ,knowing MO's )
As I say all the time ,I don't need to see the train or hear it to know if this track is not cleared ,there is at some point in time going to be a train wreck .

I was a drunk and an addict and it cost me my 3 kids
But what she did leaving me did not fix me ,it made it worse
But when a 2nd woman leaves me over the same thing ,,well I had to face both were right ,I had a problem and it was hurting someone ,my family and now me

All the kids today that brag they drink and get high like we should envy them
When I have literally spent millions on my addictions ,but I worked
I supported my family ,I paid for it all ,,,so no I could not see how I was hurting anyone ,,,but getting left ,,made me blame myself for everything

But now I see ,when it first began ,,has she stopped it then ,and not accepted it for 10 yrs and Now she wants it stopped ?she could have maybe saved both of us a lot of pain .
So I have learned you don't take people as they are and then hope you can change them
,,it thats your plan my experience has taught me you are going to fail

Even God could not get my attention until he took It ALL
Now he has my attention ,
but just the wife ,or the kids ,my health ,,little at a time was not getting to me ,,,I kept finding ways to get around him
But when he took it all ,,,and I had no choice but to listen
Now I know that voice anywhere ,,,He now has my full attention
I have learned a lot right from Him ,,you spend a lot of time at his feet when you get you caused this ,not Him .
I learned lots of deeper stuff ,the meat not the milk
Unconditional love ,but sometimes out of love ,our actions still have consequences ,if I get girl pregnant for instance ,I can pray all I want ,
and i can be forgiven ,,but that baby is still coming regardless
God can forgive me for my addictions ,,and being a bad husband
But what I sowed still come up ,,
He just give me the grace to be a man about it ,learn and become a better man from the experience .
and learn from my mistakes ,but that is why we have
Prophets ,Preachers and teachers ,apostles and evangelist
They teach us how to stay in Gods graces ,,,if all we needed to do is say Jesus
say that proves we know and believe in him ,,,well we wouldn't need any of those positions in Gods army ,that would just settle it all ...but it doesn't
we would not need all that instruction ,,,that was to save us from temptation ...I love how James puts it ,,don't blame it on God and say he did anything to you that was evil ,,,you did it to yourself ,
when you quit fleeing from the things he told you to ,now let the trial teach you something ,,when you make it through this ,next time you will know better
not so eager to ignore God ,,and do it your way again James 1:12 I paraphrased it of coarse ,but I know what my Father means now days very well .
Even He will whip the ones He loves (or he allows it )
His want it to save your soul ,,even if the lesson kills the body
Or you need to cut off some members(that was referring to church members too
If you still lust in your heart ,,plucking an eye out won't help )
And sometimes He is not going to help ,we brought this lesson on ourselves