how would you like someone to confess their love for you? (men only)

I would practically sell my soul to Satan to love someone who loves me back. I'm just so damn picky, and sensible women can smell my desperation and it turns them away. I need someone who can discuss something other than the activities and behaviors of other people. I need someone who has cracked a few books. I need someone with a sense of adventure and a healthy curiosity about everything! It hurts my heart that when I am filthy stinking rich, all of a sudden the line goes around the block! I need someone with a zero'd in rifle and an excellent aim, who fires at the bottom of her breath and hits the target! I need someone who can field dress a buck, and attend an art showing or wine tasting 3 hours later, and knock them dead! I need frickin Laura Croft, or Xena! Oh dear gawd, I'm going to die alone! 😭💔