I need help

I hate the way I am. I'm not in a relationship but have had 'encounters' with my coworker, and we are actual friends too we hang out n stuff. But she also has a bf.
I realize my flaws, I'm sacred of her leaving when she's done with me, I have a fear of letting go. And I get upset when I know she's with her bf and act immature and start a fight to get attention. It's hard admitting this, but I want to change it and need advice to be more self reliant.

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HerKing · 61-69, M

Ahhh the dark green monster of jealousy rears it's ugly head. Opens it's mouth and consumes you; It burns through your soul and tears your heart into a million pieces... It has no mercy and all the while you try to stay away from it's claws it simply reaches further into the void between it and you, eventually catching you again.

You cannot help who you're attracted to, nor who you fall in love with. It's part of being human. It matters not that she is otherwise in a relationship, the best you can do is to try and keep things platonic and resist the urge to go further with what you desire...

How does she feel about you? Are you a plaything? A distraction? Nothing more? Or is she in a state of dilemma? Torn between the old and the new? If she chooses she will lose anyway? Is that the case? Have you sat down and [i]really[/i] told her how you feel? Or just bitten your tongue, afraid of the reaction?

A word to the wise; Women generally appreciate honesty when it comes to feelings. Even if the answer isn't what they would necessarily want to hear, they will prefer that, than a lie to try and make it better.

I sincerely wish you well.

Plumouter · 26-30, M

@HerKing usually I'm too honest with my feelings and noticed on my track record. Too emotional maybe. She says she's in a state of dilemma but I usually think I'm just filling the void till things go well for her bf. And that kills me, especially when I give it my all. Maybe I expect too much from people.

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Plumouter If what she says is true then my friend you have to have some self respect and keep it platonic..If she wants you, she'll say so..Tell her you'll not be second fiddle to him or anyone, and that if she wants you then she has to make a choice.