I need help

I hate the way I am. I'm not in a relationship but have had 'encounters' with my coworker, and we are actual friends too we hang out n stuff. But she also has a bf.
I realize my flaws, I'm sacred of her leaving when she's done with me, I have a fear of letting go. And I get upset when I know she's with her bf and act immature and start a fight to get attention. It's hard admitting this, but I want to change it and need advice to be more self reliant.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

Dwelling on the future is just generally going to cause anxiety. It's best to stay centered in the present.

But. You see problems. And those require future planning. So. What're you gonna do about your flaws? That's something you should think about. Nothing comes off the top of my head for that particular problem.

I'll also add that no one woman is worth getting so worked up over. "But I love her." Maybe, but she's taken. So, in the meantime, you can work on yourself and stay in her orbit, and hey, maybe you'll nab her. Maybe not. You should be okay with either instance, for your own stability.

If she ditches you, she ditches you. Okay. So what? There's a couple billion other women on the planet. Try and get one of those. In fact, you should do that, now. Maybe getting a girlfriend will help you get over her.

Plumouter · 26-30, M

@Tatsumi I try to stay centered in the present but it's hard. And I know that logically, but my mind is on its own track and she's infested it :/

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Tatsumi I'll also add that no one woman is worth getting so worked up over.

I have to disagree very much with that. But then, I do have a few years on you. Faint heart never won fair lady..

Plumouter · 26-30, M

@HerKing I get what you're saying too, but is this really the right lady to do that for? My heart is at its limit with pain

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Plumouter No, she hasn't infested it..You love her, and the thought of her being with anyone else tears you in to pieces. Don't overthink it..It really is that simple. So what are you going to do about it? That is the question...Do you want her as more thana friend? If you do, how are you going to approach it? Scare her away or show you're a better person than someone who loses his temper?

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Plumouter Love hurts (there's a song there somewhere)... It does. It's the only emotion that makes you sing with joy and weep in despair at the same time.

Plumouter · 26-30, M

@HerKing we've had so many discussions about this, her and I. She cheats on her bf every so often with me and but her and I know we have something special, yet it's not enough for her to leave her bf. I know I'm morally just as much in the wrong here. I give her my all and have the best times with her but I still can't help but feel unimportant and used. But I know what I signed up for I guess. Sigh I got off topic sorry for the rant

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Plumouter Then tell her you feel used and you're not just her fuck buddy when he isn't there. You didn't 'sign up' for anything. You made a choice, you can change that choice. I think you have some confidence and insecurity issues.. Those aren't down to her to resolve.

Plumouter · 26-30, M

@HerKing yes I do and I know they aren't her problem. That's why I want to be more self reliant so this doesn't hurt me as much. Because it does and it sucks.
I appreciate your replies though thank you.

HerKing · 61-69, M

@Plumouter You've identified where you think your focus should be in that paragraph.. So what are you going to do about it? (You don't have to tell me, just yourself)