Have you ever been brokenhearted?

i had a devastating breakup right after the death of a parent. Had more grief than i could handle. It’s how i found this place. It’s hard to put this part of my life into words

I was pretty angry and didn’t understand everything i was going through so i cut it off like i would an arm or a leg. didn’t even try to cope with it. i just pretended like i never even dated him (denied the last several years). i threw out all his gifts and belongings, photos, emails everything. i even donated àll the clothing i owned while dating him and bought all new clothes at a thrift store — found some good deals btw... i remodelled my home (even though the funeral put me into a bit of debt) and reinvented as much of my life around me as i could. i made « physical » progress because i was not able to make any other kind. all these changes were a new chapter in my life that he had no part of and it didn’t recover my happiness at all but it did help me feel like i had SOMEthing.

Some guys who were helping with the reno’s started to take an interest in me. i rejected them because i hadnt had enough time to cope and i think in retrospect, they had no idea the calibre of my suffering even though they were aware of what happened. i suffered for many years. i may never complately heal.