Why am I single?

A question I ask myself constantly... Sometimes I tell myself its of my own choice. Other times I think its because I am unattractive (which I am to some people.) On occasion I think it's because of my peculiar qualities which only tend to come out at the worst possible moments! I don't know. This is honestly more of a rant ( and story limits what I can title things so... ehh) anyway I am home bored after acing an exam so .. this is probable a strange time to have this question stuck in my head. Continue on with your normal points thank you for the time .

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NerdyNudist · M

One: Do you love yourself? Truly? You must first be able to love yourself before you can be worthy of someone else's love.

Two: Are you searching? Searching will lead you to find the wrong people. Rather, be open to being loved and finding someone rather than actively searching.

silver1sil · 26-30, F

@NerdyNudist 1) I do. I have moments where I get upset with myself but I do love myself. I do know this and that has been something that has been told and taught to me from a young age not only can someone not love you but its harder to truly love someone else if you don't love yourself.

2.)I am not. There are times where I feel the urge to actively search but I kinda just say no if I try to hard I'll find the wrong type of love...

tsunami64 · 36-40, M

@silver1sil you are amazing. I am shocked to see that you are going through this.

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

@NerdyNudist I agree, except for one small thing (well, not so small really): You already are worthy of love, but you have to love yourself before you can know your worth, and you have to know your own worth before anyone else can know it. That's how I see it anyway.

NerdyNudist · M

@TeresaRudolph71 You can't ask someone else to ask to dive into the very taxing (and rewarding) process of loving you if you don't already love yourself. That is what I mean by "worthy of love".

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

@NerdyNudist That I understand. I might word it a little differently, but I get it. If I can't enjoy my own company, I can't expect anyone else to enjoy being with me either.

silver1sil · 26-30, F

@TeresaRudolph71 @NerdyNudist So, people can and will love you even if you don't love yourself, the thing with this is sometimes you end up hurting someone else... the person caring for you ends up having an overtaxing amount of energy sucked out of them when trying to love you and show you that you are so worthy of said love. And care and appreciation and time. So honestly in my opinion (and I'll probably get backlash about this at some point) don't get in the into a relationship if you don't love yourself, a significant amount. I've seen people go down that hole and it's terrible to watch it makes me angry for both parties...

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

@silver1sil I've actually watched someone (a dear friend) go through the same thing, loving someone who didn't really love himself, and yes, it nearly sucked the life out of her.

silver1sil · 26-30, F

@TeresaRudolph71 it's a shitry thing to watch but it's honestly not much you can do. You can give advice and try to help but it's rarely listened to and it's just truly hard to watch and be around