How would you feel if you found out that the initial reason someone was attracted to you was because of a fetish?
Example: you have blonde hair, they have a fetish for blonde hair, and that's the reason that they started talking to you
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Sicarium · 46-50, M
@Peppa For the first question, quite often, women just don't advertise their fetishes to whoever on average. Every woman I've dated or slept with has had their own fetish or kink. For the second question, not sure.
Also, "fetish" as a concept is subjective. What one person considers a fetish is completely normal to another. In the OP's example, liking blonde hair is a fetish. I just consider hair color a preference, not a fetish, for example. There's also a scale. A fetish for oral sex is more accepted and more easily talked about with a lover or potential lover than wanting to be chained up, for example.
Also, "fetish" as a concept is subjective. What one person considers a fetish is completely normal to another. In the OP's example, liking blonde hair is a fetish. I just consider hair color a preference, not a fetish, for example. There's also a scale. A fetish for oral sex is more accepted and more easily talked about with a lover or potential lover than wanting to be chained up, for example.
Peppa · 31-35, F
@Sicarium I get what you are saying there. But Unfortunately you won't really understand why some women won't entertain or embrace a man's fetish.
Liking blonde hair is one thing but a fetish to me, means it becomes the extreme and anything will add could be done with the blonde hair.
Until you experience that aggression, that forceful behaviour, that "my way or the highway" attitude, that I feel completely vulnerable and scared in this person's presence. You can't understand the reasoning behind not embracing it.
You may say that's a lack of compatability, but what about the people that hide their true kinks until your hooked on them, they spring this on you and suddenly what you were doing before is no longer on the menu, only now said thing.
I know in my own experience most of the kinks I've been a privy to have made me feel subjected and objectified. That how I feel doesn't come into it.
You're just a means to an end.
That could just be my experience but I know even having girly chats it resonates with a few more than just me.
Liking blonde hair is one thing but a fetish to me, means it becomes the extreme and anything will add could be done with the blonde hair.
Until you experience that aggression, that forceful behaviour, that "my way or the highway" attitude, that I feel completely vulnerable and scared in this person's presence. You can't understand the reasoning behind not embracing it.
You may say that's a lack of compatability, but what about the people that hide their true kinks until your hooked on them, they spring this on you and suddenly what you were doing before is no longer on the menu, only now said thing.
I know in my own experience most of the kinks I've been a privy to have made me feel subjected and objectified. That how I feel doesn't come into it.
You're just a means to an end.
That could just be my experience but I know even having girly chats it resonates with a few more than just me.