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Have you ever been cat fished into a fake relationship?

Last year I was utterly and totally cat fished. And it broke my heart as I was genuinely in love with her. I met her through that social network by total accident. I wasn't even looking for anyone or a relationship. I'm not on any dating sites and I don't use any of these dating apps. I figure if I am supposed to meet someone, I'll meet them somehow.

We got talking, messaging. We messaged on fb, on whatsapp, on psn, and via text. She told me her entire life story. She whispered sweet texts to me every day, every evening. She would call me darling, my love, sweetheart etc. She told me intimate details about her past lovers. At one point she even suggested I move near to where she lived so we could get to know each other in person. We would often be messaging each other all day, all evening. Within a month we had become the best of friends. We would share everything with each other.

Except she never picked up the phone to me. She drunk called me a few times leaving drunken voice mails, but she never actually picked up the phone. She claimed she was too nervous to use the phone with anyone. Then one day I suggested that it felt like we were in a relationship. And she went ape shit, she got angry. She claimed we were only friends. But why would you whisper sweet nothings to me every day? Why did you suggest I come down to her town and meet her? Why would you flirt with me?

The 'relationship' was all a fantasy in her head. A six month long fantasy. I accused her of stringing me along. Because she was stringing me along. She claimed she was just 'being nice' to me, and that she talks like that to everyone.

I said to her I wasn't sure if I can remain friends with her. Then one day I lost my cell phone and it was about 3 weeks before I was able to replace it. And she used that as an excuse to cut off contact with me. When I got a replacement phone she simply did not respond to messages.

After this experience I doubt I will ever be able to trust anyone ever again. It's a terrible thing to go through, too be utterly deceived like that. Sadly it seems to be an increasing trend having googled about the issue.
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Miram · 31-35, F
You seem like you cared a lot for her and she was shallow enough to walk away. Even if at a point she stopped being romantically interested, abondoning someone you call a friend in this manner is cruel and dishonest.

I am not sure about her identity being fake. But her affection seems to be.

I hope you find the strength and the self compassion needed to know it wasn't your fault. And to move on.
LaCrazyCucumber · 46-50, M
@Miram Yeah exactly. Losing her as friend was a worse thing to happen than the fake affection. I lost a best friend who was all of sudden out of my life.
Thanks man.
Miram · 31-35, F
@LaCrazyCucumber

It happened to me too years ago. It wasn't a catfish situation. I cared for him greatly, different religious beliefs, culture, country..He said he couldn't be there for me anymore and left durring my break up with someone. I still don't understand what the fuck happened (excuse my language). I think my ex convinced him to end the friendship maybe. Later on when he came back I was too bitter to deal with anyone, suicidal and generally fucked up. So I was mean to him and ignored him.

I am in far better place now mentally and emotionally. But knowing that everything I thought about our connection was a lie brings me great pain espacially when I see him around here.
LaCrazyCucumber · 46-50, M
@Miram I guess these things happen for a reason? Karmically I mean.

I'm glad your in a better place emotionally now. I'm in a better place too emotionally but I still miss her alot I guess. When all this happened late last year it was very raw and I ended up drinking alot, I guess I almost became alcoholic for a short while.

It still hurts because most of all I lost a really good friend. I could have handled her not wanting a romantic relationship and would have been happy to remain platonic friends but then her suddenly cutting off contact with no explanation as to why was the most painful aspect.