Chatting online is cheating?
If you're married or in a relationship and you chat without them knowing...is that cheating?
56-60, M
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Let me ask you a question. If you and I were talking and I said I was going to shoot you----from a 1000 miles away--and I went BANG--would you be shot?
If you said no to that--then what would make you think if you were talking to someone else on here romatically--that it would be seen as being the same thing as sex? If a bullet can't go 1000 miles and BANG is just a word---then I'm guessing your dick don't reach that far----and whatever you said would be just words too. Right??
If you said no to that--then what would make you think if you were talking to someone else on here romatically--that it would be seen as being the same thing as sex? If a bullet can't go 1000 miles and BANG is just a word---then I'm guessing your dick don't reach that far----and whatever you said would be just words too. Right??
Spoiledbrat · F
Isn’t it the same thing as watching a pornographic video without their “significant other”? How would it be any different and why is watching porn so widely accepted? @anythingoes477
Paddy888888 · 56-60, M
@Spoiledbrat Hmm a feel another question coming on...
anythingoes477 · M
@Spoiledbrat Totally agree. Most likely the ONLY real motivation one has when sexting is for self-gratification. So what does it matter what vehicle is used to "get there"? A video--your mind--or chat? All end at the same spot and in all three you were "alone" when it happened.
midnightrose · F
@anythingoes477 The difference is there is another person interacting with you, which adds a whole ‘nother element.
For many, having sexual relations in any way with somebody else would be a betrayal. Maybe not as much if it were in person, but still hurtful. Certainly sexting could be seen as something you should only express with your partner.
The mind is a gateway to our sexuality. It isn’t just about who is touching our genitals. It matters what we entertain in our mind. Where your mind wanders, your heart soon follows.
Let’s not forget the emotional aspect of it. If you routinely interact with them, it can become about more than personal gratification. A lot of people’s relationships begin online.
If one desires to use this as an avenue for sexual pleasure, then I’d suggest they’re better off expressing that desire and being honest. If they can’t handle that, how is getting caught doing it in secret going to work out for them?
For many, having sexual relations in any way with somebody else would be a betrayal. Maybe not as much if it were in person, but still hurtful. Certainly sexting could be seen as something you should only express with your partner.
The mind is a gateway to our sexuality. It isn’t just about who is touching our genitals. It matters what we entertain in our mind. Where your mind wanders, your heart soon follows.
Let’s not forget the emotional aspect of it. If you routinely interact with them, it can become about more than personal gratification. A lot of people’s relationships begin online.
If one desires to use this as an avenue for sexual pleasure, then I’d suggest they’re better off expressing that desire and being honest. If they can’t handle that, how is getting caught doing it in secret going to work out for them?
anythingoes477 · M
@midnightrose I do agree with you---in points. "The difference is another person is interacting wth you"--is true--but looking at type on a white screen is not what causes the chat to end the way it does. That is purely mental. In that sense------the mental is why it ends as it does if one is just thinking or watching a video. Yes in this case its interactive---but only in the sense of dialog--which can also come from a video--or ones imagination.
"For many"......yes. But for many......it don't. That is a generalization based on how YOU look at it.
"Where your mind wanders, your heart soon follows". Or not. Fantasies are fantasies. Unless one truly does not have a grip on reality most of us can separate what we think about from what we'd actually do. This is like saying, OMG you smoked a joint. There's no stopping you now. You now WILL become a heroin addict for sure. Unless you are abnormal my guess is you have found your qiet moments to think about someone other than you husband to arrive at the same conclusion. Is that wrong? No. abnormal? No. So will you now go find that movie star and leave your husband? Again..no. It was just a way to get yourself from point A to point B.
"For many"......yes. But for many......it don't. That is a generalization based on how YOU look at it.
"Where your mind wanders, your heart soon follows". Or not. Fantasies are fantasies. Unless one truly does not have a grip on reality most of us can separate what we think about from what we'd actually do. This is like saying, OMG you smoked a joint. There's no stopping you now. You now WILL become a heroin addict for sure. Unless you are abnormal my guess is you have found your qiet moments to think about someone other than you husband to arrive at the same conclusion. Is that wrong? No. abnormal? No. So will you now go find that movie star and leave your husband? Again..no. It was just a way to get yourself from point A to point B.
Spoiledbrat · F
I want to point out that men are very much visual creatures. While women are more emotional beings. That said, why do men look at porn when they have a wife girlfriend or significant other? And why is it so accepted. And should they they not look at their other half? That’s what they are there for? At least that is part of the reason. I also want to say that I believe people can interact without their being an emotional attachment. @midnightrose
anythingoes477 · M
@Spoiledbrat Lookimg at a video doesn't mean appeal is gone for one's significant other. And you overlook the fact that Playgirl was printed for a reason. Women look too--and get arroused---too.
midnightrose · F
@anythingoes477 Chat doesn’t always limit itself to typing.
Don’t assume you know how I look at it.
For [i]some[/i] people fantasies remain fantasies. If you can keep a lid on that, good for you. Many people’s fantasies do eventually get lived out. Fantasies are nothing more than desires, desires many feel they can’t express in their current reality. However, that doesn’t mean their fantasy couldn’t [i]be[/i] a reality.
Obviously, I don’t chase down movie stars. For starters, other than enjoying their physical attributes, I don’t fantasize about people on a screen. I [i]have[/i] thought about other people. Luckily none of those people have ever expressed any similar desire toward me, because if they did I would find it difficult to turn away.
Which is why boundaries get set in the first place because the greater the chance of opportunity, the greater threat to your relationship. People may be online but they can easily arrange to meet. Feelings can (and do) develop. It all really depends on what is being discussed, and the situation. Some people are very private and keep things very limited (it sounds like you might), others take things further.
You have a guy whose wife doesn’t give him sex at home. He uses chat as a way to get relief. He starts chatting with a woman. They hit it off. They begin talking everyday and he starts wishing he was with this woman so he could express himself in person. He professes his desires to her, they even contemplate how they would meet. Though, it is not likely they ever will. If you were in this situation and had somebody on the other side of the screen wanting you, giving you attention, you can’t tell me that isn’t a recipe for an online affair.
I’m not saying it has to be a bad thing. It could be avoided, though, if they were open about it with their partner. Are you against openness?
Don’t assume you know how I look at it.
For [i]some[/i] people fantasies remain fantasies. If you can keep a lid on that, good for you. Many people’s fantasies do eventually get lived out. Fantasies are nothing more than desires, desires many feel they can’t express in their current reality. However, that doesn’t mean their fantasy couldn’t [i]be[/i] a reality.
Obviously, I don’t chase down movie stars. For starters, other than enjoying their physical attributes, I don’t fantasize about people on a screen. I [i]have[/i] thought about other people. Luckily none of those people have ever expressed any similar desire toward me, because if they did I would find it difficult to turn away.
Which is why boundaries get set in the first place because the greater the chance of opportunity, the greater threat to your relationship. People may be online but they can easily arrange to meet. Feelings can (and do) develop. It all really depends on what is being discussed, and the situation. Some people are very private and keep things very limited (it sounds like you might), others take things further.
You have a guy whose wife doesn’t give him sex at home. He uses chat as a way to get relief. He starts chatting with a woman. They hit it off. They begin talking everyday and he starts wishing he was with this woman so he could express himself in person. He professes his desires to her, they even contemplate how they would meet. Though, it is not likely they ever will. If you were in this situation and had somebody on the other side of the screen wanting you, giving you attention, you can’t tell me that isn’t a recipe for an online affair.
I’m not saying it has to be a bad thing. It could be avoided, though, if they were open about it with their partner. Are you against openness?
midnightrose · F
@Spoiledbrat I agree. They can.