Questions about online dating

I am a female who signed up for the online dating website a few days back. I am not feeling it, in the sense yeah there are guys pictures with bio about them. Couple of guys are really handsome. There are few guys who have interesting description about them such as about their sense of humor and hobbies.

I believe for some men it's more about physical appeal in a women. But as a woman i am not feeling anything looking at those pictures. There is this guy who had a description of him as, "You will have fun with me no matter what." I really liked his positive way of describing himself. There is this another guy who is a digital artist and he is handsome, i liked that as well but i am feeling like i am trying to use them for what they can offer me in relation(emotionally) instead of showing them what i can offer in a relation.

And there are these other guys who posted, they are looking for a 'down to earth girl', 'women who can complete them'. I feel i am not one of them or i can't meet that criteria.

And there are some guys who had their six pack abs pictures, which i don't give a damn about.

To me online dating seem so artificial. I would rather meet someone and be able to feel something about them(a crush or genuine interest) and get to know them as the relation grow.

Please share your thoughts and input on online dating.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Angelfire21 · 36-40, F

I think there is some truth to how artificial is can be and I met my husband in real life, so I can't preach much about online dating but in my experience it doesn't hurt to KNOW a person before you meet them.

That initial burst of butterflies you get when you meet someone face to face that you like is very likely the result of hormones, like most interactions that result in 'instant physical chemistry'.

I think the thing that always bothered me about online dating is that people don't actually know what they want. A guy can say on his profile that he's looking for a wife but he's talking continuously to 30 different women and not making it anywhere. Those sites are, sadly, just another place for men who like to shop but never buy. Sometimes they work, but you really have to find out what the person you're talking to is after.

Also, I've noticed the effect an image can have on a man versus the effect it will have on women. It's like they're all online scouring the forums for that one perfect 10 who is, for some reason, desperate enough to be online talking to guys who aren't anywhere near her league. They can't even begin to think about getting to know a person unless their image is gorgeous; some women are also this way but this stats lean hard one way.

Example: I've been on this site for two days and I've had about 30 people say that I'm absolutely gorgeous, presuming my pic is me. I have no idea why because the image I use is clearly a painting and a piece of art and when I tell them this, they either get salty about it like I'm the asshole for telling them their dream-girl doesn't exist (hilarious lol) OR they say something equally silly like, "well... do you look like her at all?"

hahahahahahahahahaha... *eye roll*

Online dating is just about as difficult as real life dating, but at least online you can sometimes get to know the person before embedding them in your real life but for the most part I find people have unrealistic expectations and would rather live in a fantasy and have you catfish them than hear the truth. Twisted.

Sireeshak · 41-45, F

@Angelfire21 Parts of your post is true but i can't agree with 'gorgeous image'.Maybe there are few people who choose to date looking at the picture but i read bio and description about a person. I would definitely pick a less handsome guy whom i feel more connected to than the most handsomest of all with no similar interests.

Angelfire21 · 36-40, F

But you're a woman. I think that's a trend. I don't really worry too much about what a man looks like if he's an amazing person, but men really do. Studies even show that most men have sex with their eyes. It's one sided and that makes it really hard to be after the same thing.

And a bio would never be helpful to me lol... I can't even write one very well and therefore don't take them too seriously. It's like a job application where you put your best foot forward and don't mention any of the crazy in your personal closet. But TALKING to a person, talking to them over a long period of time is a good way to get to know somebody.