Are you afraid of someone you call a friend?

Someone you became friends with who, over the years, has changed to the point that you are afraid of him or her. You are scared to be around them but afraid of what they might do to you if you outright ended the relationship....so you stay in touch as minimally as you feel you can get away with and try not to actually meet them anywhere in person. I have two people in my life like that; they give me nightmares and I am convinced they are crazy enough to kill me but I stay in touch because I am afraid not to. We once had a real, healthy friendship in our youth but that was a long, long time ago. Now...I feel it would destabilize them if I outright dumped them from my life and ended all communication. So I send birthday and holiday cards and an email now and then hoping I will never see them again.

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

I AM somewhere safe. I live an hour or more drive away from them and one of them doesn't have my street address. I live in a house with multiple roommates. But I am not paranoid. I know these people, have known them for many years. At this point they are truly dangerous. One of them threatened to burn down my apartment building when I lived at my previous address. I believe they are both mentally ill; shrinks describe people like them as having borderline personality disorder

berangere · 80-89, F

@greenmountaingal Or are psychopatic or malignant narcissists,both can be extremely dangerous if aroused.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

This isn't just about being afraid of their anger. I genuinely believe they are dangerous, that they are fully capable of murder.

berangere · 80-89, F

@greenmountaingal Yes,they are,please keep trusting your instincs.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@berangere I will. I am a big fan of Gavin DeBecker!

berangere · 80-89, F

They strike me as borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

Travelbug · 56-60, F

I ended one long friendship as my mates husband would not stay out of our friendship and did things like read our texts and emails and tell me or get home late so she had to wait in with the kids and I was kept waiting. When I'd say something about it he'd laugh and say it was a joke. It was impossible to remain friends.

berangere · 80-89, F

@Travelbug This is what narcissists do, they abuse you and then when you complain they say they were only jocking and that you cannot take a joke turning the whole thing against you!

Carissimi · 70-79, F

Do they live close to you?

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Carissimi About 75 miles away. And her car is in bad shape.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

So if you stopped sending greeting cards, you think she’d be offended, and want revenge?@greenmountaingal

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Carissimi She keeps track of me no matter what. She needs to know where I am and what I'm doing.

WarmAtNight · M

Don't feel obligated anymore! They can't do anything to you

This message was deleted by its author.

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Carissimi · 70-79, F

He must be new, and doesn’t understand how it works here. His bad attitude won’t help him make friends. I think some people think it’s like FB. @berangere

berangere · 80-89, F

@Carissimi I belong to a couple of groups of survivors of narcissistic abuse on Facebook,and they are very helpful and inspiring,I would say that if a narc had his or her partner's password so they could check up on them,that person would not post in one of those groups,so those who do are pretty safe.I feel sad for that person,they are very angry indeed.

berangere · 80-89, F

@Carissimi Nice to see you again Carissimi,I don't visit this site very often now, I am quite busy on Facebook doing some moderating for the Women of the world against Taiji,we have a blue cove today,and doing a little bit of counselling on the groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse,we get a lot of help there.I also own the kennel club on Disqus,post something every day with other participants,very nice people there so far.

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