Why is opening up so hard?

After 25 years of marriage you’d think that there hasn’t been any words or thoughts left unsaid. But when you think about the deep down thoughts or desiresa they just stay inside. Why is that? Are we embarrassed that we have these thoughts? Are we afraid of what the other might think? Are we worried about rejection? I Completely trust her and know we will never be without each other, however I hold back which makes me unhappy. Does she do the same?

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ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

I don't know..I would think all desires would be known within the first few weeks of knowing the person.

Fernie · F

@ravenwind43 ALL desires in the first few weeks? yikes

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@Fernie Why not? Best to know versus being shocked later. Direct speak is always better to me than being evasive:)

Fernie · F

@ravenwind43 but "all" in the first two weeks ...I feel a person is still basically a stranger if I've only known them 2 weeks or less so I would not bare my soul until I knew them and trusted them which is not going to happen in 14 days...but that's just me

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@Fernie It also depends on what it is. The post was vague on what IT he is referring to. I still say it's better to come out with it than not.

Fernie · F

@ravenwind43 I responded to YOUR words...you said "ALL" desires

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@Fernie I was leaning towards him inferring sexual desires. If that is what he meant (I am guessing) then yes...in the right situation your sexual desires should be discussed within the first few weeks. Obviously common sense applies...it should go without saying that you shouldn't tell everyone everything in a dating situation or a casual conversation. (I didn't think stating the obvious was neccessary) :)