Would you have an affair with a married woman?

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit I generally concur with that philosophy but sometimes they are done and won't allow the other party their freedom. Being trapped like that is just awful, believe me.

@Cheesecake this is often an illusion. To leave would be difficult certainly, emotionally and financially but in the end unless you are physically trapped( in which case an affair would be impossible) it is a choice. Not from a list of choices we like but a choice just the same.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit I appreciate that but sometimes the choices are too difficult or the person is not capable, at the time, of tackling the situation.

@Cheesecake to excuse our choices because life is hard is dangerous. It begins to leak into other parts of our life. It is always best when you do something wrong to go “yeah I could have made a better choice”.We all fuck up but we don’t do any better if we try to justify it.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit Not trying to justify anything. We do what we do and there are sometimes good reasons why, imho. And sometimes not. It's all subjective anyway, what each of us thinks is good or right or even just necessary.
I hold my hands up to anything I've ever done. No excuses. I'm solely responsible for me :-)

@Cheesecake lol you are though. To justify is to try to explain why it is right or reasonable ( “sometimes there are good reasons why”) if you truly do that you would not look for reasons something wrong was right.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit "We do what we do" "no excuses" :-)

@Cheesecake removes the other stuff said and you’d be right

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit ha ha thank you - but I stand by it all, semantics notwithstanding ;-)

@Cheesecake you can stand by it but it is justifying an act you say in other instances is wrong.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit not "justifying" anything. Just saying what I feel. I won't judge anyone either way. We all have our own reasons for doing anything we do.
I respect your right to have a different opinion to mine and I'm not looking to argue for the sake of it. I think I'd like to leave it at that. Thank you for the mental stimulation :-)

@Cheesecake we already defined what justifying is up there which was what you were saying if you feel uncomfortable using that term which defines what you have shown here we can stop using it. But it does strike me as odd that you can say the things you have and seen okay with it until there is a name, title etc to it all. Thanks and same to you

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit ha ha you're not letting this go are you? Feels like I'm back in university - and that was a loooong time ago!
What's this "we" business? It was you did the defining - and I'm not uncomfortable with anything. Just not hung up on it.
Give a chap a break! I'm not being hypocritical here :-(

@Cheesecake no that’s google lol definition for it here in this country maybe you live in another I know very little of you. It just interests me so much that you’ll say what you are doing until you hear what that means then you still don’t change your acts or words but refuse to acknowledge the title to them. It’s your business completey my brain is just intrigued by that act.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit ha ha ha what would we do without the big G?! Don't know how I ever got through my formative years ;-)
I'm in the UK. I get the feeling you're in America - but I stand to be corrected, of course.
Titles are unimportant to me. Never was one for labels. I just say what I see and wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't claim to be clever but I do hold firm to my principles. I also acknowledge they may not be the same as anyone else's - but we're all entitled.
You remind me of a school friend of mine. He would frequently drive me mad during arguments. I'm a little older and more laid back nowadays. For the most part anyway ;-)

@Cheesecake I'm not mad I have actually laughed to myself a bit here. It's not like you are a stupid person that's clear but the way you don't seem to accept a name to what you are saying is a little funny to me but also weird. Because it isn't the act you won't claim but the title. And that seems so odd to me I can't help but try and figure out why.

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit Glad to hear it. Wouldn't want to antagonise a lady ;-)

I just can't agree that I'm trying to justify anything. It is what it is. I don't believe an explanation necessarily has to be a justification. I think I was just trying to explain why I feel like I do about the topic. That's all.

And I'm not offended that you called me odd ;-)

Canada maybe - the French part? :-)

@Cheesecake well then we'll just need to agree to disagree lol
I'm a mutt actually

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit Agreed! ;-)

Although to be fair, I can have trouble processing concepts sometimes so you may be right and I may just be unable to see it :-)

What do you mean you're a mutt? That's not a nationality, as far as I know .... ;-)

@Cheesecake It's what I call those that were born one place, made by two people from different places and then raised another location or locations

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit Ah I see. Thanks for that.

I've seen from your profile now that you're in America, so I deduce from your explanation that you weren't born there. Is that right, oh woman of mystery? ;-)

I'm English born and bred but have lived in Wales (yes it's another country!) for almost half my life - plus three years at a Welsh university studying .... English!! :-)

My daughters were both born here and consider themselves Welsh. They speak the language fluently as they have been educated bilingually and are now at a Welsh-medium high school. Wife is English.