Does forgiveness come natural for you or do you have to work for it to happen?

@SomeLikeItHot Yes only God can help with the deep hurts. And this one I was hurt deeply.

@SW-User I had a very big issue with my Dad. Forgiveness deals with an equity of feelings. At some level there is a need for Justice. Has this person asked for your forgiveness?
Are they family?

@SomeLikeItHot This person has not ask for my forgiveness. And he is not family. He was a friend/boyfriend.

@SW-User The Bible tells us to forgive when requested. I forgave my Dad without direct request although he did kind of apologized. This might be the same type of forgiveness that is important for yourself. If he is sincere in recognizing the hurt you went through then reconciliation and restoration of the relationship is possible.

@SomeLikeItHot The strange thing is that if he did apologize and give me even a semi reasonable explanation of why he did what he did, I would forgive him in a heartbeat. What he did was them most cruel thing that he could have done to me. I truly and deeply loved who I thought he was. I treated him with extra kindness and love that was special just to him. I feel crushed with how he treated me.

It sounds like you truly love your dad and he loves you too. That kind of forgiveness I think comes naturally. You both wanted it.

@SW-User My Dad reacted with an apology and then sort of took it back.
I did restore our relationship for 25 years. This might take you time and it definitely looks like you are going through the process.
The most important thing is be sincere.
Many will make a game of forgiveness.
God will bless you but not necessarily heal.

@SomeLikeItHot Parents can't seem to remember what they did to children fro some reason. Taking back the apology was not right but getting one in the first place is good. Many parents never give an apology.

I will work through the process and will eventually forgive regardless of him. I am very blessed by God in that way. He lets the process lead to me healing and then the pain is gone.

@SW-User The reason I mentioned the healing is because many that forgive think that they automatically get something back which isn't the case.
Forgiveness simply means you are letting go of a debt.
I do think you have this though. ❤️

@SomeLikeItHot The relief we get from forgiving is pretty special all on its one. Happiness flows back in our life and we free up emotions that can be used to loving others. It is beautiful. I find it will not happen until a certain amount of anger is released. I hate that part of the process. It makes me feel sick to be angry.

@SW-User The anger is from the perception that justice wasn't accomplished. You are very right, there is exhaustion and much more productive work that your emotions can be doing.

@SomeLikeItHot In this case I am confused about so many things that happened and why it happened. I would be happy with just an explanation. My emotions are drained and I wish I could just shut them off and let them replenish.