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What do I do?

Me and my boyfriend broke up yesterday and today he sent me a text in which he apologized for: storming out my house yesterday, making my life hell, wasting my time, not being the better person I deserve, lies, deceit, pain, frustration, making me cry, and for constantly pulling me back into the relationship thinking it was gonna be better. He admitted to: lying to himself by saying he is gonna try although he never put real effort into the relationship and that it was an abusive relationship. He is:embarrassed, guilty, upset at the consequences(losing his best friend and love) his choices made and regrets them. Wants me to consider this one apology out the thousands he has said before. Doesn't expect forgiveness. This is all his words and I simply do not know what to think or do. Should I reply? If so, what do I say? UPDATE: MY REPLY: Thank you for your apology. I'm glad you are owning it and reflecting on your actions. I'm still very hurt and do not see happiness in my immediate future. But I wish the same for you. I think it is best we end this cycle here. We will be better off. Goodnight 👍 HIS RESPONSE: I don't know what to say. I don't want to say goodnight but I also don't want to pester you even more. Its been a crazy day for me and it feels like I hit a wall hard. I guess it doesn't even matter since you said goodnight first. Sleep well. Goodnight Lupe

It seems like he is having a pity party. Should I ask about his day? Or do I move on and pray everything is okay for him? Overall, the guy was my first love and I still love and care for him. (But I don't want a relationship)
Oreocookies · 41-45, M
I'd just ignore it or say thanks for the apology.
Some1Else · M
@Oreocookies THIS👆👆
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Some1Else · M
Honestly, he MAY have meant every word when he wrote them...
But guys do not change their narcissistic controlling behavior after only 24 Hours of "REGRET"!!!

He knows he's lost you and knows you're good for him, BUT the way he treated you is an ingrained Pattern & Personality!
He's Not Changed... He's just Sorry.
Is this Manipulative? PROBABLY!

½ Year of weekly therapy [u]may[/u] change him, but he won't go I bet!

Also, DO NOT define Your Life by using him as a Standard! There are better Men and better Relationships to strive for!

Going back / letting him back only demonstrates Your weakness and low self-esteem!

Aren't you Worth More!!??
Some1Else · M
@Some1Else if anything
Just date him...

Set for yourself High Standards that he must adher to!
HE Does Not get to know them.
Tell him only he HAS TO change!

He has to want to change, helping or coercing him with hints won't give him the skills to recognize and react to his past behavior!

Just tell him he gets totally start Over.
No kissing, making out, sex, etc. Just going places together.
Simple Dates!
See if he can be good, better, changed, sorry, etc.
Or will he revert?

1 tiny failure and he is GONE!!
And NO amount of begging will redeem him!
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Thank you for your apology. I'm glad you are owning it and reflecting on your actions. I'm still very hurt and need some time to heal.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
I have one simple question. Does he ever make you feel like you're a backup plan?
@SimplyTracie yes many times I have felt that he would leave the relationship so easily. And now that he is in college at another city, I feel like he is keeping me until he finds somebody new.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
@Lupepnte Be someone's first and only choice. Okay? Hugs
sillysweetgirl · 26-30, F
You don't need all that in your life I went through this similar experience in mine on Friday without the txt the next day. I ended it and I think I'm better for it. Tell him you are done for good. That you need to end the cycle. Then talk to your girls about a night out or night in
SW-User
You're being manipulated by an abuser. That's their modus operandi, hooking you back in. Get out and find someone loving and healthy. Or, you could spend years in this cycle of abuse...
Some1Else · M
Stick to your instincts for Now!
Seriously Love and Guilt and Hate and Regret and everything are twirling around you!
Ignore all that!

2 weeks minimum! Stay away!
Done. Gone. Finished. Over!

Then be single for 2 years!
Simple Dates! Maybe!

Sticking with a crappy "First Love" like this is the Big Mistake so many young girls make!

Go find and read:
"10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives"
Or
"Codependent No More!"

Read this:
http://will.tip.dhappy.org/projects/unsorted/project/media/text/Melodie%20Beattie%20-%20Characteristics%20of%20Codependent%20People.html
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trackboy · 22-25, M
sounds like your better off without him and finding a new boyfriend.
hlpflwthat · M
'constantly pulling me back into the relationship thinking it was gonna be better'

Write that down on a scrap of paper and keep it in your pocket for the next couple weeks - you'll probably need it. It didn't get better because it isn't any better. That is usually hard to accept. Don't you deserve better?
IM5688 · 61-69, M
Let him go. Move on to someone more positive for you.
CURIOUSINMO · 56-60, M
sounds like you're tired of what he's doing, it's more your call, do you think you can do better,what are your feelings toward him, base on what you're saying here, i would stay away from him, take some time and think about it, a breakup is usually hard, but sometimes it's for the best
trackboy · 22-25, M
I would give my boyfriend the boot if he treated me like that.

 
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