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What should I do?

So, there's this guy that I've known for two years, and I always felt that there was something between us. Last year I really started to see it when we would meet up and talk for hours until the early morning. We just seemed to get each other. I could see it in his eyes how much he cared. Anyways, over the summer, we kept talking and made it quite clear that we were attracted to each other and wanted to do something about it. We came up with a ton of ideas for what we wanted to do together when we got back to school, and overall, it was going well.

When we got back to school, we met up and he asked if I liked hiking and suggested we go hiking together sometime. I also told him that I preferred white wine to red and he said "he'll change that." It appeared he wanted to play a more active role in my life. I even met some of his family at a rock concert he took me to. Because they thought we were dating and he called me "his girl," I thought we were dating. When I asked him what we were, he said he always thought we were just friends. And that despite the fact that he claims we have a connection and attraction, he said he wasn't looking for a relationship with anybody.

He said he's 110% okay with remaining friends, but gets jealous anytime I mention another guy. I really care for him and know that I couldn't engage in anything casual with him as it would hurt me if he got with anyone else. What should I do? I can't drop him completely from my life. Doesn't it seem like he's incapable of being friends too?
TexChik · F Best Comment
Tell him its time to get off the fence and make a decision. Either he is friend zoned and you start accepting date offers from other men or you two are an exclusive couple willing to see where romance might take you. Its either or. Sure he may choose the friend route, but at least you will know where you stand if that happened and know he does not share your feelings...and you can move on. Or , and more likely, it will light a fire under him and he will gather the courage to take the plunge. Guys are always afraid of getting dumped or hurt much more than women are. But the not knowing and standing around waiting for one of you to be brave enough to finally do something is not going to end well. Stir the pot, force a decision...have fun!
TexChik · F
[@16364,purpleemandem] Go to lunch with the guy. A nice peck on the cheek and a thank you are all you need to do in return. Once people see you going out, others will start asking you. Why not enjoy yourself a little bit? You may even have to use frank language with your desired quarry such as " shit or get off the pot"...with regards to you. It shouldn't need to come to that. But at this point, enjoy school and dating.
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@113373,TexChik] Thank you!!
TexChik · F
[@16364,purpleemandem] 😉

lovelywarpedlemon · 26-30, F
If a guy wants you:
1 You will have no doubt he's interested because
2 He will show you his desire through his actions
Mguinm · 51-55, F
[@417823,lovelywarpedlemon] Well said!
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@417823,lovelywarpedlemon] I definitely see his "desire," but I want him to see me as more than just an object of pleasure, and I don't know if that will ever change though
Stay in school - finish college, get a good job so you wont have to depend on a man to support you. You're welcome....
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@760047,MarmeeMarch] Haha that's definitely the plan
kentex35 · 61-69, M
Don't give up anything casually. He seems to say one thing and act another. Hard to guess. At first I was thinking shy, but for sure with this much info, I'm thinking he wants to be a player and if you take a chance he's already got an out like, "I told you from the beginning, just friends" Just keep your eyes open. And who said you can't have more than one to date regularly?
kentex35 · 61-69, M
[@16364,purpleemandem] well be careful,that might be a sign too, not having many friends. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Not that I think you are/will, you seem pretty smart, just trust yourself. Don't shuck off the little things here, they might be more important than you expect. make sense? I'll tell you all the guy secrets I can, if memory doesn't fail me lol.
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@800649,kentex35] I'd greatly appreaciate that :)
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@800649,kentex35] So what does no friends signify? He just struck me as someone so gentle and sentimental, and lately he's lost those qualities. Again, I think it's because of this toxic friend group and need to feel accepted
uncalled4 · 51-55, M
He's not making the moves toward you, for whatever reason. That's not your problem. He has had ample opportunity to move things along and has not, so leave him in the friend zone and move on.
Mguinm · 51-55, F
[@329500,uncalled4] Exactly right.
That could be a multitude of things. You have to move on with your life, if he steps up and says he wants more in the future, cool.
But don't wrack your brains or put your life on hold for him.
AnneHoney · 36-40, F
Move on to someone who wants you.
purpleemandem · 22-25, F
[@557376,AnneHoney] Haha easier said than done

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