The hypocrital attitudes towards relationship breakups

So because I left my narcissistic and DV/bullying/abuse perpetrating second ex I'm the 'toxic' one in modern women's eyes, yet if my second ex had left me she'd be praised by other women for putting her own 'self-care needs' first. 8-)

Men are not allowed to have 'self-care needs' as well? Just like men are not allowed to have 'safe spaces'...