I Abusive Relationships

The thing is my husband thinks that as long as he isn't hitting me he isn't being abusive. I have been going to weekly therapy for the last three years assuming that the fault was all mine, that a concussion I got several years ago is changing my behavior and that I need help. I probably do still need help but lately, my therapist has been asking me to attend domestic violence meetings and I had no idea that (other than the physical abuse) my husband has every single "criteria" for the other forms of abuse. Some of the examples used are exact sentences he will say and my reactions are the same reactions. I have a two year old daughter who adores her daddy and I feel trapped.

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firefall · 61-69, M

For her sake, as well as your own, get out of there, please. She will gradually absorb the lesson that this is how she should be treated, too.

And yes, hitting is usually the easiest bit of abuse to identify, and the least damaging (at least til it escalates too far). One of the prime lessons that abusers pick up quickly, is how to make your target take responsibility for the interaction, not blame the abuser :(

SW-User

They'll grow up to realise they don't "adore" him at all. To take care of your kids you need to be healthy. This man is ruining your health. Leave. Things are worse currently.

luckranger71 · 51-55, M

So well said. it is destructive to this child to have this person as a "role model". @Rollerskatesandpocketblades:

sogdianrock · 61-69, M

hi brokenangel95
Abuse is like that - Stockholme syndrome for example is when a kidnap victim becomes psychologicaly dependent on the kidnappers. It is counter intuitive when people return to abusive relationships. So do not blame yourself for blaming yourself - it is part of abuse to mess with your head. You are doing well. Keep working it out.
Best wishes and respect to you
:)

doughgirl · 51-55, F

so sorry to hear that. YOu may be better off getting a restraining order for yours and the kids protection. Talk to your primary doctor about hoe to start

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