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You asked for the details...

Okay so this morning I asked how many of you wanted to hear this story. As of this writing, the vote is 32 to 2 in favor of me writing this, so here goes...

Yesterday I was running an errand for the family business picking up some things out in central Massachusetts (about 3 hours west of here). The area is kinda run down and definitely not my normal haunts.

I'd finished my errand and was about to head home when I stopped to pick up a Coke Zero and a snack for the road. It was after dark already. I walked into the small shop and there were a couple people in line at the counter. Seconds after I entered, a guy burst in angrily behind me and immediately began yelling at the girl in line at the counter.

She was evidently taking too much time and he wasn't happy about it. His yelling was degrading and he was instantly physical with her, grabbing her arm. This is where my loved ones try to impress upon me the importance of minding my own business. It is also the moment where I have a tendency to interject myself in the business of others.

I moved to them, made eye contact with her, and asked, "Are you okay?"

The dialog that follows is as best as I can recall. But as in any stressful situation, memories made while high on adrenaline are not always accurate.

"Step off bitch, this ain't none of your business!"

"I wasn't talking to you, asshole," then turning to the terrified girl, "If you need a safe path away from him, I got you."

"I said step off."

Turning to the cashier, "Call 9-1-1, this asshole is about to need an ambulance."

"Oh you're a funny bitch," and at that moment he laid hands on and tried to push me back from them. His right hand still on her arm, his left hand was pushing me away. I removed his hand from my shoulder and likely dislocated or sprained two of his fingers based on his reaction.

Then I saw him let go of her and reach behind his back under his shirt. His arm immediately began coming forward. That's never a good thing.

I drove my left palm up into his lower jaw driving his lower teeth up into the uppers and took out his left knee dropping him to the floor just as his hand came around with the sidearm. His focus being sufficiently distracted by pain, I focused on his wrist and took the gun from him.

The cashier was at this point on the phone with 9-1-1 and I heard him say, "He has a gun!" And to my shock, the accused woman was now on the floor next to the guy providing comfort and screaming at me. I told the cashier that it wasn't going to be safe inside when the police arrive and that he should wait outside for them.

I was impressed at how quickly they arrived. I saw the cashier talking to the officers as they got out of their cars with guns already out of their holsters. His hands were in the air. I knew what was about to happen. I ejected the magazine from the gun and cleared the chamber. Holding it by the trigger guard, I raised my hands and went down to my knees about five feet from the now disabled abuser (his girlfriend still by his side).

The two officers came in, saw me with the emptied gun and saw the other two on the ground. One went to them and one came to me.

"What happened here?" he asked while taking the gun from me.

"He started to draw down on me and I took offense at that."

"You did that?" motioning to the abuser on the floor.

"Yes sir. And that's his, by the way," motioning to the emptied pistol. "Mine is under my left arm still in its holster."

"You're carrying?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you mind if I hold on to that while we straighten this all out."

"Not a problem." He pulled my Sig from my holster and I gave him my credentials wallet which included my driver's license, my Navy ID, my credentials from that three letter federal agency I used to work for, and my FID.

We (the abuser and I) were each put into the back of a police car (different cars) and cuffed. The officers took our stories and then compared notes. One went inside, presumably to check the video, others arrived.

Thank goodness there was that security video in the store that completely backed up everything I said because the cashier said I started the confrontation. 🙄 But after seeing it, the officer came out to me and took me out of the car, removed the cuffs, and returned my Sig and my credentials. The abuser was placed under arrest and the officers offered the woman help which she declined.

I've gotten pretty stupid like this many times. But when I see an abuser in public like this I just cannot stand there and do nothing. Of course, my fiancé and my mom are both kinda pissed at me right now. And my CO needed to speak to me today (yes, the police called the Navy 🙄).

So anyway, that was my Friday night.
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KiwiBird · 36-40, F
To recap:

You showed restraint
Gave him options
Gave him fair warning (ambulance)
Used reasonable not excessive force

Yes you may have put yourself in some danger but not unreasonable in the circumstances.

I know you and wouldn't expect anything less.
I am glad you are safe and sound.
Your fiancé is a lucky girl and should be proud of you.
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@KiwiBird Reasonable force is, of course, the key factor in any situation like this.

As for Alex being proud of me... Well, we'll have to wait and see. She's still sleeping right now, but last night she was still pretty upset.
SchoolBelle · 61-69, F
1. Great report of a hairy situation - well written, with clarity.

2. Ain't folk weird? How often do you see a girl/woman leap to the defence of her abusive partner!

3. I presume you are/were some variety of plainclothes official/service person. A vet?

4. You have the physical and mental confidence of MA training but also excellrnt presence-of-mnd training and situational awareness.

5. Smart reaction to police arrival - don't risk getting shot by some hick cop.

6. Didn't/doesn't your training teach you to stay out of "domestics"?

7. Take the lesson from the shop keeper seeing you as the aggressor.

So glad you csme out of this situation in one piece!

And fully understand why your mum and fiancé (fiancée?) hope you're never tempted to get into anything like it again.

Also suspect they know it is a forlorn hope.

🙏 May your guardian angels continue to protect you!
pdockal · 56-60, M
@SchoolBelle

Your missing the point
Abuse ISNT straightforward like you keep saying it is

It's very complicated
SchoolBelle · 61-69, F
@pdockal You are not listening. You know you are correct.

Let's leave it there.
pdockal · 56-60, M
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
🫪

I am so glad you are safe.

I presume there will be a trial and you will be a witness. I hope that goes OK.

----------
I was in a situation once in the JC Penney bathroom at the Annapolis Mall. I was sitting, and then the guy in the next stall started yelling loudly and bouncing off the walls, literally, and then dropped a needle. Then he went to the sink. I finished, looked quickly in his stall wondering what had happened, and saw a spoon and rubber tubing (like for the arm) on the toilet paper dispenser, and a needle on the floor.

I washed my hands and told him I don't want to know, and was not going to say anything, and left. Well, by then staff were outside and had called the cops due to the noise. I thought of leaving but was a witness so hung around in another part of the store since I did not want the dude to see me. I then emerged and gave a statement to one cop while the other was in the bathroom with the druggie. The cop told me they found the needle in the trash and the guy worked at the calendar kiosk in front of JC Penney. Must be so boring.

That evening I wrote it all down in a Word file in case I forgot. But I never got called. Later, I got a letter saying the hearing has been cancelled. I had never been served with anything. Maybe he pled out.

Every time I visited that bathroom I remembered it. A few months ago the store closed so I will never visit again.

I am so glad I did not have to go to court and testify.
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@JoyfulSilence Yeah, for sure he pled out. I've been "the witness" in three prior situations like this. None of them has gone to a trial.
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
@sarabee1995

I hope things all work out well for you.
Stephie · 22-25, F
I can only shake my head but sure glad that you are safe Sara. This could have taken a totally different turn and even your Swiss Protector may not have helped you.

Years of training paid out and you prevented something possibly bad from happening. You are a hero in our eyes and to those innocent bystanders that were just as petrified as that girl and the person behind the counter.

Let me just say that much:

If you had consumed healthy foods such as veggies and had a bottle of mineral water rather than that bubbly poison, you would not have needed to stop at that shop and nothing would have happened.

Moral of the story: Eat fruit and veggies and drink water if you want to live longer 🫢
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Stephie And btw, I don't do coffee so no water filtered through coffee beans for me.
Stephie · 22-25, F
@sarabee1995 While I fully understand your reasoning, what if? What if the situation would have escalated? What if you could not have controlled that situation? What if you would be in the hospital now?

You were lucky but also, you made your decision based on your judgment and weighed the possible outcome.

Good it developed the way it did. I don't want to think of what your family, Alex and all your friends would have to endure if it did not.

Just be safe and remember that January is fast approaching 🥲
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Stephie Hmmm... what to say ... what to say??

Our Kiwi friend is likely reading along as well because she's above in this thread. She knows a LOT about me and what I've already put Alex through. There's stuff I haven't shared publicly but I wouldn't care if she told you. The bottom line is that Alex knows what she's getting being with me. She and Mom flew to Rammstein once to see me in a hospital bed. So, although it is never my intent to make either of them "endure" anything, she is fully informed. 🤷‍♀
You have my highest RESPECT!!!
That training is ALWAYS helpful! Not to mention the knowledge of knowing when it's needed & how much.
I would want you backing me if I were ever in a similar situation!
Again: RESPECT!!!
Gangstress · 41-45, F
My respect to you hun
You did good imo.
You gave him options

Hope you're ok
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Gangstress Thank you! And, yes, I'm good. Mom & fiancé have calmed down about it so all good. 🫂
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
I understand why your fiancé and mum are annoyed, they don't want to lose you! But I bet they are proud of you too.

How did your CO react?
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@ninalanyon The officer told me that my CO's first response was to ask if the guy was alive.

As for my chat with him yesterday, he said that as long as everything plays out as the officers stated Friday night (me being the victim, etc) there should be no issue. But obviously, as a naval officer, there will be a deeper look at my conduct.
72andy · 51-55, M
What I find so amazing was the reaction of the victim and the store owner.
You are a hero in my eyes.
Up navy
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@72andy Thanks. And yeah, I was surprised as well. 🤷‍♀
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sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Rutterman Exactly. His rage was directed at his girlfriend.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
You rock Sara! You did the right thing. And you taught numb nuts a valuable lesson. 🤭 Glad you're safe.

I'm thinking he has several felonies against him. One, pulling a gun out on you. Two.. likely no license. Three.. he likely has priors being how fast he pulled it out. And of course using a firearm in the commission of a felony. I liked the shoving his teeth move. Classic. 😉
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Livingwell Well, in a situation like this, the primary goal is to distract his brain and the best way to do that is to flood it with incoming pain signals. A well placed strike to the chin does this very effectively.
ArtieKat · M
You're amazing, Sara!
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@ArtieKat Thanks, but didn't feel so amazing sitting in the back of their car.
Thinkerbell · 41-45, F
Sic semper brutalis. 👍


Glad you're ok, Sara.
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Thinkerbell Hahaha! I think that's my new motto. 😉
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Degbeme · 70-79, M
@sarabee1995 I concede which is worse, sugar (artificial or natural) or caffeine. My coffee is black, no sugar.
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Degbeme 🤮
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Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
Wow. I was afraid the abusee (woman) would act this way based upon your narrative. It’s kind of crazy isn’t it?
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Ambroseguy80 Unfortunately, I do see it often (I volunteer at a women's shelter on the Cape).
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@vetguy1991 You'd get no debate on that from my mom or my fiancé.
FeetAreFantastic · 41-45, MVIP
Wow... Good on you to step up like that but it sounds dangerous. Thankfully it ended well
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@FeetAreFantastic Yeah, I keep inserting myself in these things. 🤦‍♀
Damn....and all I did was watch television. All good....you did good.
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@SomethingNew2 Thank you...
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sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@Barefooter25 So now he'll hide his abuse in private?? 🤦‍♀
pdockal · 56-60, M
Yikes
But the cashier needs glasses and a smack up side his head
The woman is in denial
Glad your ok
pdockal · 56-60, M
@sarabee1995

Not every person will react like you regardless of the training
Some freeze
Some ignore
Some are just knuckleheads

Just like most people run away from fire and similar incidents
sarabee1995 · 31-35, F
@pdockal I can't fault the knuckleheads. They are limited by the capacity of the brain they are born with.

I can't fault those who freeze. They are limited by the conditioning they grew up with.

But those who see what is going on, have the mental & physical ability to help, and yet choose to ignore ... for them I have no sympathy and consider them complicit.
pdockal · 56-60, M
@sarabee1995

Your better then I
I fault them but also society

 
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