Help - I think I’m in an abusive relationship.

So my partner keeps saying I frustrate him and recently we’ve had multiple arguments over stupid things, such as me falling asleep early (9:15pm) I’m a nurse and work 12.5hr shifts, 14 if you add travel. My partner works from home in a stressful, yet very flexible job where he often has time to play on his Xbox during the working day.

Tonight’s argument was me falling asleep early, apparently that frustrates him and pisses him off and I’m so selfish for it. I was explaining why I am so tried and all I got was ‘well I work in a busy job and I’m not tired you need checking you’re so weird for falling asleep at this time’. I kinda snapped when I shouldn’t which caused him to get really angry, shout at me and slam doors (have told him multiple times this scares me, I don’t do aggression well). To which he stated tonight that if I did not annoy him, he wouldn’t do it therefore it’s all my fault and I’m a selfish bell***.

He’s now sulking downstairs because I make his life hell and I’m so hard to live with and no one understands him. I feel emotionally numb and so tired. It’s draining me as I’m always the one in the wrong and he doesn’t seem to take responsibility for his actions and blames me.

Advice would be helpful… thanks x

Panda5689 · M

This does hit nail on the head... Narcissistic behavior. Run run run.... Your description reads like a textbook abuser. Having recently been in a relationship with a woman who lasted 4 years in an emotionally dominating abusive relationship I can only say the best is to get out ASAP. Seek therapy ASAP to heal the wounds inflicted upon you so you may function again as you should. This is so you can find the right person and start a relationship to last. My relationship with her was unable to continue due to the fact this person could not handle "normal". Normal being treated like a human being, cared for, going out, not being expected to respond to texts immediately without consequences, receiving random cards in the mail, flowers for no reason [not to say sorry after abusing her], and list goes on.

Put yourself first and move on ..