I miss my ex

When we first said goodbye, I was angry, and I didn’t feel anything but numbness and I started drinking to cope. But it’s taken almost a year for it to really hit me and I just feel so devastated. I feel like I lost the one person that meant the most to me. And I’ve been in short lived relationships. I know you move on but when it’s as long as a decade, idk how you ever do. I don’t think I ever will. I know it’s a huge source of my pain. I have the hardest time throwing anything out that was given to me by my ex. It’s like I can’t let go and my ex already did.