...And Now For A Different Take...
I just came back from much better gym day this morning compared to Saturday, where I was tired and very lazy. I thought it was depression from what happened days prior but I realized now that it was something else.
It's true what they say about Ashwaganda, that taking a full dose of 600mg before bed will definitely help you sleep, but the effects unfortunately linger long after you wake up. I'd bought it to help me sleep because I couldn't.
What brought me to this conclusion was that while feeling lazy yesterday, I decided to drink some coffee to wake up, to see if my mood and consequently my motivation would change. And oh it did because I was far more productive that afternoon than I'd been all week.
And while driving home that night, one week since I was unceremoniously berated over the phone and dumped, I'd begun reflecting on her hypocrisy. I reflected on how she declared she had "no one to turn to", yet I'd been her therapist for years.
She had no "no one to turn to" yet she turned to me when she thought she was in danger in September. She had "no one to turn to" yet I babysat her cats even after we didn't talk all summer. Then she was asking me if I was coming over because she was willing to not bring up the hard conversation that I brought up just days before she ended it. But I'm "like a six year old", huh?
Ok.
I still love her. I'm still torn to pieces over this. Yes, I played my part when I put her in a compromising position. I can't take that back. Ever.
But I KNOW how good, loyal, and respectful I was to her. I would've NEVER left her, much like just days before she ended it she told me I'd never lose her.
It's true what they say about Ashwaganda, that taking a full dose of 600mg before bed will definitely help you sleep, but the effects unfortunately linger long after you wake up. I'd bought it to help me sleep because I couldn't.
What brought me to this conclusion was that while feeling lazy yesterday, I decided to drink some coffee to wake up, to see if my mood and consequently my motivation would change. And oh it did because I was far more productive that afternoon than I'd been all week.
And while driving home that night, one week since I was unceremoniously berated over the phone and dumped, I'd begun reflecting on her hypocrisy. I reflected on how she declared she had "no one to turn to", yet I'd been her therapist for years.
She had no "no one to turn to" yet she turned to me when she thought she was in danger in September. She had "no one to turn to" yet I babysat her cats even after we didn't talk all summer. Then she was asking me if I was coming over because she was willing to not bring up the hard conversation that I brought up just days before she ended it. But I'm "like a six year old", huh?
Ok.
I still love her. I'm still torn to pieces over this. Yes, I played my part when I put her in a compromising position. I can't take that back. Ever.
But I KNOW how good, loyal, and respectful I was to her. I would've NEVER left her, much like just days before she ended it she told me I'd never lose her.
