Anyone else leave a narcissist?
I was stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 7 years with a narcissist. Leaving him was absolutely terrifying. Has anyone else been through this experience?
Convivial · 26-30, F
Not personally but I've heard enough stories to know you're better off out of it
JohnnyNoir · 61-69, M
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Mamapolo2016 · F
@JohnnyNoir I was amazed at the calm that followed almost immediately. And the chutzpah.
He had a large gun collection. It would have sold at a pretty penny. I surrendered rights to that. Except for a fair division of marital assets, all I wanted was out.
Everything had been verbally agreed on, but he suddenly balked and said he wouldn’t sign if I didn’t surrender - I don’t even remember what it was - it was just him demanding control.
I told the attorneys we needed five minutes to talk, and I led the way outside to a sidewalk. He opened his mouth but I spoke first. “This was all agreed. BUT, if you wanna dance, then we’ll dance. Your choice.”
I went back to the meeting room and in two-three minutes he came back and signed. Just like that.
It was a remarkable emotion.
He had a large gun collection. It would have sold at a pretty penny. I surrendered rights to that. Except for a fair division of marital assets, all I wanted was out.
Everything had been verbally agreed on, but he suddenly balked and said he wouldn’t sign if I didn’t surrender - I don’t even remember what it was - it was just him demanding control.
I told the attorneys we needed five minutes to talk, and I led the way outside to a sidewalk. He opened his mouth but I spoke first. “This was all agreed. BUT, if you wanna dance, then we’ll dance. Your choice.”
I went back to the meeting room and in two-three minutes he came back and signed. Just like that.
It was a remarkable emotion.
JohnnyNoir · 61-69, M
@Mamapolo2016 wow! That's fantastic. I believe many of them would behave the same way under similar circumstances. A lot of their bluster would disappear in a situation where they weren't in control
Mamapolo2016 · F
@JohnnyNoir I think it’s not so much TAKING control as it is refusing to GIVE them control of you.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
I've heard of even narcissists leaving, because their partner was a narcissist. 😆
It takes a world of types of people to make up a whole world.
Pimps often think their ladies are cheating on them. 🤷🏻♂ Just a different type of cheating to them.
It takes a world of types of people to make up a whole world.
Pimps often think their ladies are cheating on them. 🤷🏻♂ Just a different type of cheating to them.
val70 · 56-60
Not personally, but my housemate suffered from an abusive household when she was young. Her dad is the classic narcissist.
AverageMuslim · 26-30, M
Not a partner relationship
And honestly, it's terrifying and will be terrifying until you start to reconstruct your thoughts again INDEPENDENTLY
So I really hope you slow things down and all rumination ends a and can smile again from a secure feeling place in your soul
And honestly, it's terrifying and will be terrifying until you start to reconstruct your thoughts again INDEPENDENTLY
So I really hope you slow things down and all rumination ends a and can smile again from a secure feeling place in your soul
Evillynn · 41-45, FNew
@AverageMuslim I am doing absolutely wonderful. My life has never been better. Both friends and family say they have never see me this happy. Leaving that all behind was the best decision I ever made. Ghosting him was so smart. He eventually tired himself out. He still hangs on to me, according to mutual associates, but he no longer contacts me, my family, or my friends. You would think he would tire himself out. I know it will be completely done once he finds a new supply. It's been a long time since I left, but he's a difficult person, so I know it'll probably be awhile before some poor woman gets sucked into his web of deceit.
AverageMuslim · 26-30, M
@Evillynn keep your guard up, my friend
One thing I will let you know is that they never stop coming back and will spend time slowly opening up for to your heart if you don't keep the wall high
I'm so happy to hear your doing better!!
Good on ya!
One thing I will let you know is that they never stop coming back and will spend time slowly opening up for to your heart if you don't keep the wall high
I'm so happy to hear your doing better!!
Good on ya!
Mamapolo2016 · F
I can only say that only the people who knew him called him a narcissist. I don’t think he’s ever been diagnosed.
I stayed for 19 1/2 years. I left because I was more frightened of what would happen to me if I stayed than I was of what would happen if I left.
I bought into the bluster and veiled threats for nearly two decades. What happened to me as consequences for leaving - nothing. He collapsed like a wet paper bag.
He’s still much the same. I just don’t have to deal with it.
I stayed for 19 1/2 years. I left because I was more frightened of what would happen to me if I stayed than I was of what would happen if I left.
I bought into the bluster and veiled threats for nearly two decades. What happened to me as consequences for leaving - nothing. He collapsed like a wet paper bag.
He’s still much the same. I just don’t have to deal with it.
Mamapolo2016 · F
@Evillynn It’s my life, not his. That’s the point. It’s been 25 years now and he rarely crosses my mind.
But he didn’t steal those years. I surrendered them. It was only when I realized that not living would be better than living like that, that I could finally walk out and not go back. To the best of my knowledge (we share a daughter), he has never even dated again.
Living well IS the best revenge and erasure from your life is even better. Letting it go returns control to where it belongs - with you.
But he didn’t steal those years. I surrendered them. It was only when I realized that not living would be better than living like that, that I could finally walk out and not go back. To the best of my knowledge (we share a daughter), he has never even dated again.
Living well IS the best revenge and erasure from your life is even better. Letting it go returns control to where it belongs - with you.
Mamapolo2016 · F
@Evillynn I once saw an article about anger. It stayed with me. There was a list.
Anger
1. Does anger change anything that happened?
2. Does anger alter your behavior when meeting new people?
3. Does anger do anything to improve the impression people form of you?
4. Does anger allow you to move on in positive ways?
5. Who does anger really hurt?
6. What could the spaces you use to store anger be used for in healthier ways?
Everybody has to answer those for themselves.
Anger
1. Does anger change anything that happened?
2. Does anger alter your behavior when meeting new people?
3. Does anger do anything to improve the impression people form of you?
4. Does anger allow you to move on in positive ways?
5. Who does anger really hurt?
6. What could the spaces you use to store anger be used for in healthier ways?
Everybody has to answer those for themselves.