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I want to know who was wrong here

I met a guy a while ago it was serious.

We talked about mariage and everything.

He is kind sometimes tries to provoke me with subjects that are taboo to see my reaction because I told him that I am a feminist and a jurist. Anyways, we were talking one day and he made a joke about r*pe.

I told him right away that this kind of things are not allowed to be said and I made my position clear.
The next morning we texted each other we said nice things to each other and in the afternoon I just blocked him!

I blocked him because for me he crossed a line and there was some resentment that was hidden and the joke he made was just the drip that made the glass overflow.

Anyways, the next day I unblocked him and I explained to him why I made that decision and it was out of fear and because he was crossing a line. He wasn’t answering any of my messages or my calls.

After two weeks he told me that he will never understand my reaction and my reaction « reveals things about me that he can’t support or forgive and he end things up.

I mean… who is in the bad here ?
mellie
26-30, F
19 replies 71 views 2 hrs ago2 h
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DancingStarGoddess · Best Comment
He was wrong to start with, then the whole random blocking without just saying why right then and there is doing too much and kind of put you in the wrong a bit too. He seems to be trying to shift the blame off of himself because he made some very tasteless joke and he knows exactly why you felt how you felt. He just wants you to feel like you're the one wrong for not just allowing him to force his way past a boundary and get away with it. There's nothing for him to "forgive." all he did in the end was attempt to make himself the victim of something HE originally started with his big mouth.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h · Edited: 1 hr ago
DancingStarGoddess ·
@mellie Thanks for BC. he ultimately tried to turn the whole situation around on you and act as if HE was the one taking the high road and you were the one to have committed some offense against him. Even his whole "ending" things is kind of silly considering you had already blocked him and were ending things yourself. You had beaten him to the jump and had just decided to explain why you had done so so that he wasn't left wondering in hindsight. Basically he tried to be like " You can't fire me, I QUIT!" lol
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 59 mins ago59 m
mellie · 26-30, F
@DancingStarGoddess hahahaha 🤣
Jesus! You made me laugh so hard. You are a real Goddess!

Thank you so much for your comments, they made me feel much better also to help me make an ending to this situation in my head.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 50 mins ago50 m
DancingStarGoddess ·
@mellie You're very welcome! and thank you!
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 44 mins ago44 m
helenoftroy2000 · 22-25, F
you both are....
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F
Personally I think in relationships, it's better to have difficult decisions face to face. Blocking wouldn't be something I would have chosen to do.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Mamapolo2016 · F
My personal conviction (I’ve been in a similar situation) is that, although he may not be a threat in terms of SA, if he thinks it’s funny, then I cannot rely on him to defend me or my daughter or step-daughter if such a crime happens. He’ll have to laugh about it with someone else. Non-negotiable.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 27 mins ago27 m
Northwest · M
I mean… who is in the bad here ?

Do you think you were right? That's the only thing that matters. His reaction told you that there are probably other things that you're not going to consider funny and my be incompatible with your feminism.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Pretzel · 70-79, M
It's not good and bad

It's a bad fit
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
GoFish · 41-45, F
well you blocked him what did you expect? but perhaps it was a good instinct because any guy who takes rape lightly is not a good guy.. best off without him 😒
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
hippyjoe1955 · 70-79, M
Likely you. I don't know enough to be certain but from what you told me I would dump you too. Who needs that level of crazy in one's life.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Mamapolo2016 · F
It’s not important how we feel about it. It’s only how you feel about it that can confirm your relationship or end it. He has the same power to confirm or end.

But in order for your involvement to continue, you both have to confirm.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Sapio · 51-55, M
You were offended by what he said. So, you blocked him. Then you unblocked him and tried to explain your actions. But the damage was already done. So, you should've just kept him blocked. I think it would've been for the best.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
mellie · 26-30, F
@Sapio I just felt so bad after blocking him…
When I looked back I just told myself this was not a mature reaction I should have talked and communicate my concerns and then decide.
My explanation part was because I didn’t want to look like there was nothing between us or I was just play around. So I went back for once to burry that dead body.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
CookieCrumbs · F
Be clear where your line is. If you feel that he has crossed that line and violated your trust in him as a person, then decide what you want to do. You blocked him already. That was the explanation. Nothing more needed for you to explain your side. Move on.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
Offthetop · 56-60, M
You are entitled to have boundaries so no need to poll others’ opinions on it.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
IM5688 · 70-79, M
By crossing the line, he showed no respect for you or your feelings. He was in the wrong 100%.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
InstructHer · 61-69, M
Simple incompatability.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 hr ago1 h
 
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