Is it acceptable that I feel like this?

Im sure im the last person you want to see a response from, and since its been a month after the post was made im not sure youll see this. Im just going to cut to the chase and put everything i feel to the side:

Talking to him about your frustrations and coming up with a plan should theoretically be your best route in this. Putting this much effort is a great thing, but dont forget that overexerting yourself could hurt both parties, even if you dont see it yourself.

Relationships are hard, but compromises are a well established way on getting him to at least show what hes capable of. For example, maybe you should let him do grocery shopping while you stay behind and cook. It'll allow you two to get multiple tasks done and can show hes willing to put in work and try to take care of you as well, even if its not the full picture you imagined.

Dont try to be overly distant, but point out your frustrations in a manner in which he understands that you lack things he cant provide. Showing is sometimes better than telling. If im not mistaken, this rolls into a previous post "i cant keep throwing love into this". Dont throw love and expect a different result. Think of this old adage "the definition of insanity is repeating the same steps and expecting a different outcome"

Dont fully give up on the relationship, because it may be kinda of worth salvaging, but dont rely on yourself to do all the hard work while he effectively sits back and relaxes. It not only defeats the purpose of this, but it encourages him that doing the bare minimum is all he ever needs to do to keep you around and satisfied. Take a step back, look at the whole picture. Look away from love just long enough to find out where he can truly improve and focus that for a bit.

Work hand in hand, just as you wont expect him to do absolutely everything for you, dont expect yourself to do it all for him. Share in the good and the bad memories, but do it together, not alone. Put the expectation that he should be there for you as much as youd be there for him.

I know this sounds repetitive, and im sure people here said the same thing, but it's true in and of itself. Nudge him a direction, see how it plays. You shouldnt also hold the expectation of doing this forever without change. If he refuses to change over a lengthy period of time, then maybe it wasn't really a relationship that would truly be. If anything, please take off the rose tinted glasses and see the world as it is. A one tracked mind is more devastating than a set path.

Hold onto hope, things could change if you two are mature adults and able to talk things out. Just don't crush it into oblivion

@Menetics Yes. It is absolutely acceptable that you feel this way.

And honestly... reading what you wrote - what strikes me most isn't that you're unhappy with being in a relationship. It's that you're exhausted from being alone while being in one.

There is a very big difference

You are clearly an incredibly capable woman. You work, you provide for yourself, you carry responsibility, you solve problems, you make things happen. You have built a life where you don't need someone to rescue you because you've learned how to rescue yourself.

But that doesn't mean you don't want to be cared for.

And I think that's the part people sometimes miss when they look at a woman like you and call her a "strong independent woman." They see the strength and forget to wonder what it costs her to maintain it.

Being capable doesn't mean you don't want somewhere soft to land.

You shouldn't have to prove that you can carry everything before someone offers to carry something for you.
You shouldn't have to be the one who notices everything, remembers everything, fixes everything, cooks, provides, organizes and keeps moving simply because you've demonstrated that you can.

And I can understand why that would eventually make being alone feel safer. At least when you're alone, you know exactly what you're carrying. You aren't constantly hoping that someone will eventually notice the weight and take some of it from your shoulders.

I don't think you're asking for someone to take care of you. You're asking for a partner. Someone who notices when you're tired. Someone who says, "I've got this tonight." Someone who makes you feel that you don't have to be the responsible one every single time. Someone whose presence makes your life feel lighter rather than simply adding another responsibility to it.

And I hope you know something else. Your independence doesn't make you less deserving of tenderness.

In fact, sometimes I think the strongest women deserve to be handled with the most tenderness, precisely because they're so accustomed to handling everything themselves.
Know the woman behind all that strength, the woman who gets tired, the woman who wants to be held without having to explain why...
the woman who sometimes wants someone else to make the decision, take the weight, make the dinner, fix the thing, pull her close and simply say, "You don't have to worry about this. I've got you."
Perhaps that's what I find so beautiful about what you've shared. You're not saying, "I don't need anyone."
You're basically saying, "I want someone I can finally need without regretting it."
So no, I don't think you're unreasonable. I don't think you're asking for too much. I certainly don't think you should feel guilty for wanting reciprocity, reliability, affection and partnership.
You deserve to be appreciated for your strength, yes.
But you also deserve to be loved in the places where you don't want to be strong.

Sometimes all you need is for someone to really see you, and gently say:
"I see how much you've been carrying. You shouldn't have had to carry all of it alone."

[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV7X3R7iRB8]

Absolutely acceptable to feel how you you’re feeling….🥺

Yeah that's obviously not sustainable. You two need to sit down and talk about a more reasonable division of labor. There's no reason why you should be doing all the housework if you both work. He can eat cereal if he doesn't want to ever cook breakfast.

How long have y'all been together?

Have you had this discussion with him? If not then you should before you decide anything. If you have and he hasn't changed, then DTMFA.

Whatever works for you guys is what is up and i can't pressume. If you're fine doing housework or take pride in it, that's great. If you do not enjoy doing it and feel that it's unfair since you also work, that's also valid, and you guys have to work on a compromise. If he isn't willing to compromise, that's not good. What do you want to be doing, what do you want him to be doing, and what does he wanna be doing and have you doing, and can both of you find the best balance of all of that so your interests are met?

I know that may be super generic advice since all I really said was "find a compromise" and it's like "well duh". But that said, most comments on here are probably just jumping to conclusions based on a single post, and possibly giving you terrible advice. In reality, the details are things only you and him can know, so what truly matters is if he's as willing to put your happiness on the same pedastool you put his. That is what is important.

Sit down with him and discuss it. It is the only way to make things change. If he won't do the things you ask then tell him he has to go. It cannot continue like this.
From a guys perspective, if a lady wants to do everything herself that is better for him, then he can just sit with a beer and watch the game and be content.
Make a list of the things that are his responsibility, tell him, make him do it.

Have you sat him down and talked with him about these things?
And, would you both be willing to address these issues to a counselor.
I think it could help.

He took it as far as he could, leave him.

if you feel like its just a one sided relationship where you are only giving and he's only taking then you might want to cut your losses and move on from him

It sounds like you are pursuing a role which doesnt fit you.