I'm not okay... I need him

He scratches my itch and for some reason I'm still trying to be conservative ... Still trying to act like I'm good .. I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm craving him. His confidence,... I need him in me and on me, I need his voice in my ears I need to swallow him whole.... Smh. I know he'll let me but my pride doesn't want him to know just how much control is slipping. How much control he really has in terms of what my body does... I thought it's nerve racking to face, I can't deny... I love it. That's the part that really gets me, I kind of like it this way