Do you value consistency in a relationship?
Maybe it's something demented about me, while I do love adventure and spontaneity, when it comes to relationships I need things to be somewhat predictable.
My last relationship was very stressful for me and it annoyed him to no end that I asked for consistency. A good morning, a good night. If you can't show up, let me know. If plans changed, give me a heads up. Invite me to things you know about weeks in advance when you know, not a few hours before.
He had these "boundaries" where I couldn't text him during certain times but I never knew when that was until he was pissed at me. Sometimes he wanted to text while he was at work, sometimes he would get so angry if I text him at work. And when I stopped that made him angry too.
His moods were all over the place and after some research I realized I spent so much energy trying to decode him and then manage his mood, I was his emotional caretaker because he would intermittently communicate.
It was so stressful. And I often thought I was the crazy one or that I wanted too much from him, when I was barely getting his scraps.
Now I'm wondering, is this something strange about me? To want a relationship to feel steadfast and to know where I stand with someone?
I think it would make my heart feel good for once to receive love that felt like it was sure about me. I try to give that consistency, but maybe it's a weird way I process and not something most people value??
My last relationship was very stressful for me and it annoyed him to no end that I asked for consistency. A good morning, a good night. If you can't show up, let me know. If plans changed, give me a heads up. Invite me to things you know about weeks in advance when you know, not a few hours before.
He had these "boundaries" where I couldn't text him during certain times but I never knew when that was until he was pissed at me. Sometimes he wanted to text while he was at work, sometimes he would get so angry if I text him at work. And when I stopped that made him angry too.
His moods were all over the place and after some research I realized I spent so much energy trying to decode him and then manage his mood, I was his emotional caretaker because he would intermittently communicate.
It was so stressful. And I often thought I was the crazy one or that I wanted too much from him, when I was barely getting his scraps.
Now I'm wondering, is this something strange about me? To want a relationship to feel steadfast and to know where I stand with someone?
I think it would make my heart feel good for once to receive love that felt like it was sure about me. I try to give that consistency, but maybe it's a weird way I process and not something most people value??
41-45, F
