It would be nice to have someone

I was dreaming to settle down at 28 and have kids in my 30's. By the time I was 28, I became single. And although I feel like I've moved on with my past relationship, I'm still quietly mourning how my relationship have turned.

I tried dating, and even trying to force different relationships, but I always end up choosing to be alone. And even though having a child is just an option for me, I sometimes grieve for not having someone to call me mom.

Today, I am rendering from a dream job. A dream job I worked so hard and prayed so hard. But nothing makes me feel so anxious right now than this job. I feel sick everyday and even I only have 4 days left, I can't seem to see any light.

Would it be nice if I have someone? But i think I can't afford it right now.