Anxious
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Should I tell him my ex texted me?

I am in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend . We met online, live in different countries but are part of the same diaspora. We’ve been together for about five months. Although it’s long-distance, the relationship is serious and we’ve discussed marriage and plans to meet once finances allow.
We’re both Christians. He is relatively inexperienced in relationships and has expressed that he is cautious with his heart. Early on, we agreed to be honest and transparent with each other about things that could affect trust.
I have an ex (33M) whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in over a year. Two weeks ago, he called me unexpectedly. I didn’t answer. Today, he texted me while I was at work asking for a work-related tool. I did not respond.
My current boyfriend has previously said that he feels uncomfortable with the idea of any interaction between me and this ex and that it affects how much trust he can give. I’m worried that if I tell him my ex reached out—even though I didn’t engage—he may see it as a reason to end the relationship.
At the same time, I feel conflicted because we agreed to honesty, and I don’t like the idea of withholding information, even when I’ve done nothing wrong.
There’s nothing I can control about an ex reaching out, and I’ve maintained clear boundaries by not responding.
Should I tell my boyfriend about this, or is it reasonable not to bring it up since there was no interaction and no response from me?
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I know nothing about your culture or location.

I do know controlling behavior when I see it.

You’re in an un-winnable game, a game that is structured so that once you start to play, you lose.

Your partner demanded honesty, you were honest, and he’s “back to square one.” You are upset, even though you did nothing wrong. That is unjust.

When someone you care for makes you feel like you have to constantly walk on egg shells, it’s not the right kind of affection.

Any prior relationship disappointments with other people your partner had are not your fault, and not your responsibility.

It’s not even a situation where you were considering a reunion with your ex. You were minding your own business when he contacted you concerning a “work tool.” Now your current partner is tugging on your strings like you’re a puppet.

I was married to a man like that for almost 20 years. If you don’t want to spend your life feeling every moment of every day like you’ve been called into the principal’s office when you have no idea what you did wrong, don’t continue with the relationship.

It will not get better. It will get worse.
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@Adogslife Yes.
Levenrack · 46-50, M
@Mamapolo2016 Well said. 🫡
@Mamapolo2016 very nicely said. :-)
campfire · 51-55, M
@Mamapolo2016 that's goddamn right.