Love & Attraction

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Should I tell him my ex texted me?

I am in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend . We met online, live in different countries but are part of the same diaspora. We’ve been together for about five months. Although it’s long-distance, the relationship is serious and we’ve discussed marriage and plans to meet once finances allow.
We’re both Christians. He is relatively inexperienced in relationships and has expressed that he is cautious with his heart. Early on, we agreed to be honest and transparent with each other about things that could affect trust.
I have an ex (33M) whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in over a year. Two weeks ago, he called me unexpectedly. I didn’t answer. Today, he texted me while I was at work asking for a work-related tool. I did not respond.
My current boyfriend has previously said that he feels uncomfortable with the idea of any interaction between me and this ex and that it affects how much trust he can give. I’m worried that if I tell him my ex reached out—even though I didn’t engage—he may see it as a reason to end the relationship.
At the same time, I feel conflicted because we agreed to honesty, and I don’t like the idea of withholding information, even when I’ve done nothing wrong.
There’s nothing I can control about an ex reaching out, and I’ve maintained clear boundaries by not responding.
Should I tell my boyfriend about this, or is it reasonable not to bring it up since there was no interaction and no response from me?

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22Michelle · 70-79, T

Why are you in a Christian relationship. That's lies to begin with to start with! to begin with

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Barkingpuppy · 31-35, F

@22Michelle lies?

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@Barkingpuppy It's all a lie, all religions. Be honest with yourself, and those you want to be honest wih.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle respectfully disagree.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 Each to their own, but if you can provide evidence that god etc exists I'm interested.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle Objectively or empirically? Perhaps not.
Subjectively? Yes - who feels it knows it.

And no, I'm not a happy clapper, I'm a Catholic who found his Faith again.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 So you have no evidence to present, which is expected as there is none of course.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle do you have evidence to the contrary? A rational position here empirically would be agnosticism.

I value subjective too, because qualia is what makes us sentient and sapient.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 You can either prove god exists or you can't, and you can't. Your trying the usual Christian getout of "prove god doesn't exist". 2000 years or so and the existence has never been proven, so I'll take that as the evidence required.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle we couldn't prove atoms exist even though a Greek philosopher thought they did thousands of years ago. Atoms didn't suddenly come into the existence when we first noticed them.

You are using the typical Internet atheist line.

The problem with reducing everything to the natural and physical is that it falls short.
See for example the hard problem of consciousness.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 And you have no evidence!

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle handwaving the rest of the argument to repeat a prior statement is not a debate flex. This is not debating in good faith.

Why do you hate the Church?

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 I don't hate it. It's just a bunch of people trying to make a living by conning the gullible. Got to make a living and they entertain the punters.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle for conning people - what's the end game? For something to be a scam or con, there has to be a material benefit.

Again, you seem to think we're all Fundamentalist Evangelicals. I'm Catholic.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 So how rich is the Catholic Church? How many children have been abused by priests, how often has the Catholic Church defended those priests? And it's not just tge Catholic Church.
Anyway, found some evidence of god yet? That's the real question, the one you just won't give an answer too.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle

1. The Church itself in the Vatican has priceless artifacts. Local parishes aren't wealthy.
2. The Church and most laity condemn the abuse of children. Some priests have behaved unethically, they should of course face justice. The Church unfortunately is governed by mortal men. Men are fallible.
3. I repeat my statement that just because something cannot be observed presently does not mean it doesn't exist. Dark matter and dark energy does, but we have no way of measuring it.

I find it interesting that Atheist "freethinkers" also just repeat anything Richard Dawkins says Verbatim without questioning.

I'm also circling back to consciousness - qualia exists, yet present science has no explanation, only hypotheses.

We are told we are against science, but Lemaitre was a Catholic Priest. We don't deny the fact of evolution either. You keep conflating us with Evangelical Protestants.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 Let me know when you have evidence! All the rest is just you avoiding there is no evidence!

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle let me know when you address the other arguments and argue in good faith.

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 Good faith? This started with me asking you for evidence of the existing of god. When you present some we can talk about negotiation, which of course means it won't happen.
Alternatively you can just admit there is no evidence, and never will be.

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle no, because it's not good faith to wave away any logically and philosophically correct counter arguement. That is bad faith.
Furthermore, OP is religious, you're ramming your views down her throat the same way you accuse Christians of doing.

As you do not possess a crystal ball, you cannot say anything that "will never be".

I state again for posterity, I have no empirical evidence, I do have subjective evidence.

Jenny1234 · 56-60, F

@22Michelle what is a Christian relationship? I’ve never heard that term

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@Jenny1234 Ask Barkingpuppy. Personally I'd say it's two people fooling each other.

Barkingpuppy · 31-35, F

@Jenny1234 hi, basically two people who wholeeartedly believing in God and waiting before marriage ( i didn't but recomitting).

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@Barkingpuppy Got that evidence yet?

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@22Michelle it's also her human right to believe whatever she wants. Again, why force your opinion on her?

22Michelle · 70-79, T

@basilfawlty89 Goy any evidence yet?

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