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No matter how much I look...

There's just no one who can meet me on my level. I belonged in the academic circle of things, but failed out of college. Now for someone at my stratum of life, there's no one. The ones with minds are taken up with other things at higher strata of life.
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Maybe it’s your grammar “No matter how much I look” doesn’t make much sense. Unless you’re expecting someone to buy you.