No matter how much I look...

There's just no one who can meet me on my level. I belonged in the academic circle of things, but failed out of college. Now for someone at my stratum of life, there's no one. The ones with minds are taken up with other things at higher strata of life.

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swirlie · 31-35

The fact that you failed out of college should have told you that you that in fact, you did not belong in the academic circle of things. That should have been obvious to you. If you find where your true circle lies, you will also find the people who have evolved to that same strata of life as you.