Eh just the truth

Ugh I hate writing these posts. Yes I haven’t moved on from my ex, I realize that. I’ve ignored everyone else that has tried to reach out. It’s over. But with you, I guess it never is. Anyway, we’re not in a relationship like I said but I feel the limits of one. If I look good in what I’m wearing I’m “looking to have sex” if I’m on Reddit I’m “flirting”. lol I hate having my stuff read on any site. Even celebrities aren’t ok. I guess what happened was we were barely in a relationship. I was relapsing into alcoholism and met a coworker. We agreed to be friends and go out. I just wanted to drink. My ex knew and was ok with it but I got drunk and we ended up kissing in a bar and almost having sex later. I was too drunk so we didn’t. Though after my ex left me, we did. I want to forget that ever happened but I hear about it basically everyday as well as the short lived relationships I had after we broke up. And now it’s perpetual I’m untrustworthy. Just all the time. The things said are ridiculous. And I don’t have the energy. I don’t know what you do after a year of this crap. I know you leave but I just don’t feel able.