Would it bother you if you found out your partner lied about what they earn?

@OlderSometimesWiser I agree.
I have been living in a state of anxiety. Trying to prove I wasn't a gold digger when he had 2 adults dependants. Not because they don't work but because this is the life he had slowed them to live. I came along and yes I don't earn anywhere near as much. But I was honest transparent and he saw my pay slips because I was genuine. He also saw how little I was earning now I'm on mat leave and I thought what we discussed was reasonable for us to live throughout this situation.
Now the fact he was saying he felt overwhelmed makes sense. He was under too much financial pressure

@Mellowgirl I’m sorry you’ve been going through such a difficult time. You mentioned in another comment that trust is well and truly broken. Do you have any idea of a next step?

@OlderSometimesWiser I honestly don't. I've put things in place to keep myself safe. But I just don't really see a way for us to move forward.
I think he really needs to seek psychological help. Because our relationship it seems has been built on a massive set of lies. This is incredibly scary.

I said to my therapist a few months back that as time is going on I'm starting to feel like the things I was presented with at the beginning are slowly fading away and what's left behind is a bunch of lies. I feel totally and completely scammed. I didn't deserve this.

@Mellowgirl No you didn’t deserve it and that really sucks, I’m so sorry. Glad you’ve assured your safety, certainly an important first step. Also glad you have a therapist to help work through these issues. Guess it must feel like you’ve built a house on a foundation of sand. Do you think it would be healthier to be apart at this point? Feeling totally and completely scammed is definitely no way to live. You need to create whatever situation makes you feel safe, secure and confident moving forward. For you and your children.

@OlderSometimesWiser for now it's imperative that we remain separate. Because I don't know who this person is.

I've laid with the enemy and I don't understand what I could have possibly done to lead me to this.

My mum has a really dark theory. That he had no desire for a relationship with me, that his plan was just to have children and because I came along genuine and honest and upfront about my mental health struggles I was the perfect candidate. Because one more than one occasion since having our child he threatened to take me to court for full custody implying my mental health being a factor.

I've been assessed by social services now who don't think I pose a risk to my child or the unborn child and that's all the reassurance I need to be able to move on.

But this is totally humiliating.

I'm actually lost for words right now.