Would it bother you if you found out your partner lied about what they earn?

@Notsimilarreally trust is well and truly broken.

@BillyMack how can someone do that. I mean when the pay slip doesn't come through what do you do? How do you explain that?

@Mellowgirl if you handle the bills and finances and use credit cards it can go unchecked for a while.

@SwampFlower I agree. I'm really hurt. Not because I lost a meal ticket cos that was never in my mind. I'm just disappointed that he didn't believe I loved him for him

@OlderSometimesWiser I honestly don't. I've put things in place to keep myself safe. But I just don't really see a way for us to move forward.
I think he really needs to seek psychological help. Because our relationship it seems has been built on a massive set of lies. This is incredibly scary.

I said to my therapist a few months back that as time is going on I'm starting to feel like the things I was presented with at the beginning are slowly fading away and what's left behind is a bunch of lies. I feel totally and completely scammed. I didn't deserve this.

@Mellowgirl No you didn’t deserve it and that really sucks, I’m so sorry. Glad you’ve assured your safety, certainly an important first step. Also glad you have a therapist to help work through these issues. Guess it must feel like you’ve built a house on a foundation of sand. Do you think it would be healthier to be apart at this point? Feeling totally and completely scammed is definitely no way to live. You need to create whatever situation makes you feel safe, secure and confident moving forward. For you and your children.

@OlderSometimesWiser for now it's imperative that we remain separate. Because I don't know who this person is.

I've laid with the enemy and I don't understand what I could have possibly done to lead me to this.

My mum has a really dark theory. That he had no desire for a relationship with me, that his plan was just to have children and because I came along genuine and honest and upfront about my mental health struggles I was the perfect candidate. Because one more than one occasion since having our child he threatened to take me to court for full custody implying my mental health being a factor.

I've been assessed by social services now who don't think I pose a risk to my child or the unborn child and that's all the reassurance I need to be able to move on.

But this is totally humiliating.

I'm actually lost for words right now.

@SouthernGuy1987 I don't see why when my income isn't as much as what he earns anyways. But the thing is I've been transparent from the start. He knew what I was earning and how much less I was going to get on mat leave. Which is why when we discussed moving in together we discussed being able to cover the bills.

@cherokeepatti I don't earn more than him which is why this doesn't make any sense.
I have always been honest with him. He knows what I earn and what I was getting for mat pay. So it's ridiculous.
If I wasn't genuine I wouldn't go out my way to do that.

@Mellowgirl oh excuse me, I misunderstood.

@cherokeepatti that's ok just wanted to make sure I could clear things up.

@FloorGenAdm why would his employer lie to him. He just signed a new contract. He would have agreed to the salary.