Are women still old fashioned, should men initiate the intimacy and sex or do you feel this should be an open to anyone?

Every generation has its own way of looking at relationships, how and what each gender expect from each other, what was not acceptable 20/30yrs ago is now acceptable./
How do women view this, do or would you initiate sex in your relationship if you wanted or wait on your man?

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Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

I was the instigator most times. I had to deal with his rejection or acceptance.
It wasn't fun to be on the other side. I'm used to balance. It was a new experience and in all honesty after a while his inability to instigate made me question the true nature of his feelings towards me.
Was the rest now just out of a perceived duty of care?

I think it's important for couples to be open about the ways in which they feel. Because this situation left me feeling more rejected than empowered

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

@Mellowgirl I wonder whether he has low labido/medical issues or did not really know/understood dynamics of romantic nature that sex/intimacy is not only needed for procreation. It is also there for bonding, and has many health benifits. And the fact a female partner also has sexual/intimacy needs.
You will be surprised to know that most men still do not know or understand how female sexual needs work.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Fieldmaster well according to him, "not everything is about sex!" This was after a conversation trying to broach our differing libidos.
I have been told that my libido is a little high. But prior to him it was never a problem. In fact had he met me many years before he would have had a serious problem and we wouldn't have lasted more than a month.
Don't get me wrong there are other elements to the relationship that made it worthwhile so having a young child and feeling tired did play into me initiating less. But prior it was something that made me question was it a ed issue. There were times when he would wake and he just couldn't I wasn't rude or didn't try to make a thing of it. I'd like to think I'm mature enough to understand life and emotions often play a part.
But when it becomes a regular occurrence it does make you wonder.

He wasn't open to discuss it.

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

@Mellowgirl I see. makes sense.

So he was in the end basically rejecting or denying for whatever reasons he had in his head, whether he wanted or was not into you etc etc...how long did you stay with him?

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Fieldmaster I can only assume because we didn't have this conversation. The last rejection as things started he checked his apple watch. Suddenly jumped out of bed and went to his laptop. He returned with it and started clicking away. He then said some busy body at work was working at 5am sending him and emergency notification that by passed his do not disturb. Now he's has checked it was a minor fault.
Obviously the mood was killed and he started with his day.

We didn't talk on it. I was left confused and in a position where I didn't even know how to approach this with him.
Shortly after this we had a major bust up and have been living separately since July 31st. Just sharing equal parental care for our child.

We first started dating June 2023.

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Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Fieldmaster I have made him aware that I find him to be rather obnoxious at times. But he doesn't see it that way because he has never been told so. He's a big guy 6"2 so he's used to taking up space and domineering

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

@Mellowgirl That is good! It is too bad, how is he with his child?

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Fieldmaster when I was there a relatively good father. I do think sometimes he wasn't always as good at picking up his needs straight away. But again he's a millennial that loves their phone. So distracted easily

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

@Mellowgirl I see, i hope he will make an effort, when did you end relationship with him? I take you moved out with the kid and are a single parent now?
Phone distraction is BIG Problem...and serious one. I see people walking their dogs and kids in stroller and totally consumed/distracted by they phone. Make sure wonder...

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Fieldmaster it's been a couple of months now. I'm fine and just getting on with things.