JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@JimboSaturn you hold space, sometimes you give, sometimes take... It doesn't seem that complicated to me.
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@MarbleMarvel Exactly. I think people have to let go of the fantasy that another person is going to complete you or meet all your needs; that's just not realistic. Plus as a couple I'm her best friend and we are a team.
@JimboSaturn ffs that's all I need. Glad you have that
being · 36-40, F
Yeah it does sound like complete immaturity to me... It sounds like they're there for the wrong reasons perhaps ?
I mean there's some middle ground where we all expect our partner to be there for us. But if they're demanding a full-time attention.. something's not right. Maybe a mom syndrome of some sorts ?
We were discussing with a friend the other day about the roles we're met with, the healer/therapist, the mom/dad, the teacher/student and much more and whilst there's some healthy normalcy whereas we all exchange naturally these roles within a relationship, depending on the circumstances... Some just get stuck in one and looking for another to hmm roleplay.
All in all, I'd vote against the person you're describing.
I mean there's some middle ground where we all expect our partner to be there for us. But if they're demanding a full-time attention.. something's not right. Maybe a mom syndrome of some sorts ?
We were discussing with a friend the other day about the roles we're met with, the healer/therapist, the mom/dad, the teacher/student and much more and whilst there's some healthy normalcy whereas we all exchange naturally these roles within a relationship, depending on the circumstances... Some just get stuck in one and looking for another to hmm roleplay.
All in all, I'd vote against the person you're describing.
@being Thank you 🖤 I love the depth of truth you are able to share ugh it's such a relief 🤗
There was many times I thought he was looking for more of a caretaker to baby him, rather than a partner. And when he told me he treated me poorly because he didn't feel his needs being met, that alone was repulsive. Not to mention the things I was going through were extremely painful and scary, yet I remained as strong as I could because I had to be a Mom. He punished me with silent treatments, insults, manipulation, gaslighting, avoidance and refusal to listen to my perspective without taking it as an insult.
He complained about his needs not being met when mine never were because of what life took from me. I didn't even require him to meet any of my needs
To me, I meet my needs, a lover/partner is the cherry on top. Someone that makes life a little sweeter.
The fact that he is uninterested in me because I'm not available just shows his inability to hold space for others. And I can't tolerate that.
There was many times I thought he was looking for more of a caretaker to baby him, rather than a partner. And when he told me he treated me poorly because he didn't feel his needs being met, that alone was repulsive. Not to mention the things I was going through were extremely painful and scary, yet I remained as strong as I could because I had to be a Mom. He punished me with silent treatments, insults, manipulation, gaslighting, avoidance and refusal to listen to my perspective without taking it as an insult.
He complained about his needs not being met when mine never were because of what life took from me. I didn't even require him to meet any of my needs
To me, I meet my needs, a lover/partner is the cherry on top. Someone that makes life a little sweeter.
The fact that he is uninterested in me because I'm not available just shows his inability to hold space for others. And I can't tolerate that.
shakemeup · 36-40
🤔 I expect myself to take care of my own needs. I expect them to do zero. But it's appreciated if they do want to help in some way.
Generally the only thing I expect out of a partner is basic human civility and respect for others and basic skills relating to independence, social skills, health/wellness and self care.
I've found people find different things fulfilling in a relationship too. One person might just be looking more for good company, another might be looking for more emotional support, etc.
Generally the only thing I expect out of a partner is basic human civility and respect for others and basic skills relating to independence, social skills, health/wellness and self care.
I've found people find different things fulfilling in a relationship too. One person might just be looking more for good company, another might be looking for more emotional support, etc.
nazgul · 26-30, F
That would be pretty unfair to him. All I expect is effort, and I get it. We both havw our problems but we meet each other in the middle where we can. It's more than I can say for nearly any other man I've been with, but I know relationships are almost never actually 50/50. Life happens.
sumbody2luv · 36-40, FNew
@sumbody2luv I feel this 100% 🤗 it doesn't have to be needy and complicated. There's no need for games.
sumbody2luv · 36-40, FNew
@MarbleMarvel agreed!
Bang5luts · M
I would hope my partner would meet my needs, if she couldn't I would hope she would talk to me. So I could explain what I needed and she could tell me what she needs. If we can't talk and listen to each other, than why even be together?
In a relationship I treat my partner how I want to be treated.
In a relationship I treat my partner how I want to be treated.
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
Well needs are important to be met, but a lot of people mistake wants for needs. Now if cancer is in the picture, or anything as serious as such, that changes the situation and I don't know if I can put myself in that mindset
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
@DearAmbellina2113 This. Some people's only intention seems to drain others. Possibly they think that's what love is... Beats me.
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JackOatMon · 46-50, M
ImNotHungry · 36-40, M
@ImNotHungry he was mine tbh... I'm struggling to move on because I can't understand it. But I think the answer is simply, he was a bum a$$ partner.
Tumbleweed · F