You know that narcissist boyfriend or girlfriend you've been crying over?
I bet you thought they left you because they didn't love you anymore. However, what you don't know, is that they never loved you in the first place. You were only tricked into believing that. You must understand that Love, to a narcissist, only means one thing, and that is control.
Another thing that can happen sometimes when we lose the person we love, is that we're not really mourning the person, as much as we're mourning what we thought we had. Think about that. What person in their right mind, had they known, would want to stay with an abusive person? So sometimes our feelings get confused and that's just another tactic that the narcissist uses for control... to convince you that they loved you. Remember.... In the narcissists mind, love = nothing but control.
Narcissists don't understand love, the way you do. There's no such thing, in their book. Forget that. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be. So why did the narcissist leave you?
The main reason they left, was because they finally realized their game was up. You were now onto them, their schemes, and constant controlling ways. They finally realized they couldn't push your buttons anymore, because you finally wised up and stood up for yourself and refused to be controlled, and thank God for that because not many get away from narcissists. A narcissist will wear you down emotionally and ruin your health. You couldn't change them if you wanted to and why would you, if you have any self-respect about yourself? Who would want to be with a mentally ill narcissist?
Never allow abuse in your life. It is a deadly game you're playing if you do, but the narcissist is not playing a game. They will snuff the life right out of you, emotionally. They don't care who it is they victimize, nor whom they hurt. Never be fooled. They know exactly what they're doing. They don't care! They just want that "fix". And if they can't get it from you, they will go to someone else. In fact, that's the first thing they think of in the morning....finding that fix. It is a vicious cycle for them, but don't feel sorry for them. They do this intentionally and they never care who they hurt.
As long as they can control "someone", that's where they get their "high", and if they can't, they will immediately turn to manipulate and victimize someone else, but that's not the end for you. They will still continue to try and manipulate you, to the very end. There's no end to the measures they will go to, to keep you and use you. Not for love, but for the sole purpose of having someone to control. They constantly need that fix!
The "fix" is the only reason a bully narcissist stays with you and if they leave you, it's because you withdrew and took back your power, as you should!! And so they left to find a new person they could control.... a more willing victim.
You're just fortunate they left you, because narcissists do not get well. Even the famous Dr. Phil said that he and his colleagues talk about this all time and he said, "DO NOT expect a narcissist to change or get better!!" You are in for a very rude awakening and even putting yourself in a very dangerous situation where you could even be killed, if you think you can change a narcissist. Don't even entertain that idea. And the worst thing you could do, is argue with a narcissist or tell them they are a narcissist. Never do that.
Further, never, but never, tell a narcissist your plans. Show them no emotions. Just get away and stay away as fast as you can but make good plans before you take off. Don't do this in the spur of a moment or you will not succeed. You will then have a stalker on your hands and maybe even a murderer. So don't be afraid; be wise and make the best plans to ensure your success. A successful person, is one who makes plans, instead of panicking.
The only thing to do, is get yourself or your children or whoever is involved, completely away from this person, lose total contact with them, protect yourself and your loved ones, get away from them, and stay away from them, forever!!!
You can never, and I mean never, put your faith or trust in a narcissist. They are sick liars. You cannot trust one word from their mouth. Don't even attempt it.
If you're with a narcissist, it's imperative that you get the help you need to get away from this person, right away. Someone who can help you plan your getaway. That is crucial. Otherwise, this person will destroy you. You're not strong enough to fight the narcissist. Don't kid yourself. How do I know? My daughter's diagnosis is called malignant narcissism. For those who are unfamiliar, there are different stages of narcissism and malignant narcissism is deemed the worst. She has completely abandoned me and threatened me, then laughs about how she is going to do all kinds of things to hurt me, has slandered my name, and says she hopes I die a terrible death.
There's a special technique I taught myself, derived from long meticulous study on narcissism. I knew I had to, if I wanted to survive. It must be faithfully practiced, if one is to recover their health from this devastating ordeal. I helped another lady survive her experience through this technique, which I was using at that time for myself, as well. Trouble is, it's so simple, some will completely ignore it, to their own detriment...thinking it couldn't possibly work, so they never recover, but I'm here to prove it works! You have to do your homework. It does take time and patience with ones own self. God helped guide me to the right resources, then I applied all those to God's truths, for success.
Sadly, some women never recover from a narcissistic experience. They allowed the programming and abuse to go on, far too long, and stayed too long. They have been emotionally crippled to the point they can't, and won't ever, see their way past it.
Keep in mind that the narcissist must be avoided at all cost. And while this person is mentally ill, they are still human beings, and in need of much prayer. That is very important. Jesus is really the only person that can set them free from their chains of bondage. I pray for them everyday and for their salvation. Jesus can set the captive free. Never forget that.
Another thing that can happen sometimes when we lose the person we love, is that we're not really mourning the person, as much as we're mourning what we thought we had. Think about that. What person in their right mind, had they known, would want to stay with an abusive person? So sometimes our feelings get confused and that's just another tactic that the narcissist uses for control... to convince you that they loved you. Remember.... In the narcissists mind, love = nothing but control.
Narcissists don't understand love, the way you do. There's no such thing, in their book. Forget that. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be. So why did the narcissist leave you?
The main reason they left, was because they finally realized their game was up. You were now onto them, their schemes, and constant controlling ways. They finally realized they couldn't push your buttons anymore, because you finally wised up and stood up for yourself and refused to be controlled, and thank God for that because not many get away from narcissists. A narcissist will wear you down emotionally and ruin your health. You couldn't change them if you wanted to and why would you, if you have any self-respect about yourself? Who would want to be with a mentally ill narcissist?
Never allow abuse in your life. It is a deadly game you're playing if you do, but the narcissist is not playing a game. They will snuff the life right out of you, emotionally. They don't care who it is they victimize, nor whom they hurt. Never be fooled. They know exactly what they're doing. They don't care! They just want that "fix". And if they can't get it from you, they will go to someone else. In fact, that's the first thing they think of in the morning....finding that fix. It is a vicious cycle for them, but don't feel sorry for them. They do this intentionally and they never care who they hurt.
As long as they can control "someone", that's where they get their "high", and if they can't, they will immediately turn to manipulate and victimize someone else, but that's not the end for you. They will still continue to try and manipulate you, to the very end. There's no end to the measures they will go to, to keep you and use you. Not for love, but for the sole purpose of having someone to control. They constantly need that fix!
The "fix" is the only reason a bully narcissist stays with you and if they leave you, it's because you withdrew and took back your power, as you should!! And so they left to find a new person they could control.... a more willing victim.
You're just fortunate they left you, because narcissists do not get well. Even the famous Dr. Phil said that he and his colleagues talk about this all time and he said, "DO NOT expect a narcissist to change or get better!!" You are in for a very rude awakening and even putting yourself in a very dangerous situation where you could even be killed, if you think you can change a narcissist. Don't even entertain that idea. And the worst thing you could do, is argue with a narcissist or tell them they are a narcissist. Never do that.
Further, never, but never, tell a narcissist your plans. Show them no emotions. Just get away and stay away as fast as you can but make good plans before you take off. Don't do this in the spur of a moment or you will not succeed. You will then have a stalker on your hands and maybe even a murderer. So don't be afraid; be wise and make the best plans to ensure your success. A successful person, is one who makes plans, instead of panicking.
The only thing to do, is get yourself or your children or whoever is involved, completely away from this person, lose total contact with them, protect yourself and your loved ones, get away from them, and stay away from them, forever!!!
You can never, and I mean never, put your faith or trust in a narcissist. They are sick liars. You cannot trust one word from their mouth. Don't even attempt it.
If you're with a narcissist, it's imperative that you get the help you need to get away from this person, right away. Someone who can help you plan your getaway. That is crucial. Otherwise, this person will destroy you. You're not strong enough to fight the narcissist. Don't kid yourself. How do I know? My daughter's diagnosis is called malignant narcissism. For those who are unfamiliar, there are different stages of narcissism and malignant narcissism is deemed the worst. She has completely abandoned me and threatened me, then laughs about how she is going to do all kinds of things to hurt me, has slandered my name, and says she hopes I die a terrible death.
There's a special technique I taught myself, derived from long meticulous study on narcissism. I knew I had to, if I wanted to survive. It must be faithfully practiced, if one is to recover their health from this devastating ordeal. I helped another lady survive her experience through this technique, which I was using at that time for myself, as well. Trouble is, it's so simple, some will completely ignore it, to their own detriment...thinking it couldn't possibly work, so they never recover, but I'm here to prove it works! You have to do your homework. It does take time and patience with ones own self. God helped guide me to the right resources, then I applied all those to God's truths, for success.
Sadly, some women never recover from a narcissistic experience. They allowed the programming and abuse to go on, far too long, and stayed too long. They have been emotionally crippled to the point they can't, and won't ever, see their way past it.
Keep in mind that the narcissist must be avoided at all cost. And while this person is mentally ill, they are still human beings, and in need of much prayer. That is very important. Jesus is really the only person that can set them free from their chains of bondage. I pray for them everyday and for their salvation. Jesus can set the captive free. Never forget that.
.. Ditch them and move on.
