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So here's some tea: shared with one of my girl friends about the guy I want to tie the knot with

She basically said some stuff that I found confusing.... She asked me "did you split the bills when you guys were dating?"
I told her we took turns because I can't have someone paying for me all the time.
She said "girl, that was a mistake, don't spoil their habits"
I didn't understand what she meant and I asked her to elaborate. She said, "men will not acknowledge or respect you more for it. A man should never let you spend a penny when you guys go out. I've been there, given elaborate gifts, paid for meals, and it never works out, only spoils them. A man should be willing to take 100% responsibility of you and your finances, no matter how much you earn. This gives them the wrong message."

I still don't get it tbh. But also I'm very naive. I didn't ask her further bcz I didn't want to sound slow. What does she mean though
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PinkMoon · 26-30, F
This morning I sent my boyfriend money with the following message. This was prompted by a conversation we had in couples counselling. I realized that he's used to being used,abused and unappreciated by his mother,sisters and ex partners. I decided that I want to be the woman who shows him how a man is to be respected,appreciated and loved.

I want a life partner,not a caregiver and guardian. I don't to be an obligation or burden,I want to be a choice and a source of peace and rest. The couples counsellor said that it's good to get on the same page about finances early on in the relationship. It's up to you to decide the finacial dynamic you want and then communicate that early.

Personally I think your friend's advice is shit. Men aren't money dispensing machines. There's nothing attractive about an entitled leech.




turningthekeys · 31-35, F
@PinkMoon thank you so much for sharing this. This was extremely helpful!! I never thought about what men might have to endure in relationships when it comes to finances