Why am I crying over a dirt bag?

Make it stop please 😂

Is this what healing from an abusive relationship feels like? Ups and downs? Aching for someone you don't even want, because they never really existed in the first place?

I know one thing for sure, that was an eye opener, and I will never let it happen again.

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DrWatson · 70-79, M

I know some young women who are healing from an abusive relationship with their father (who is now in prison.)

I was struck by the statement one of them made on Facebook, about how she could acknowledge positive times with him, and how that complicated the process of healing from the abuse.

As for realizing that the person you miss never existed, I have been through that myself. What helped me was to think back on interactions that I thought were so positive, and realize the extent to which I was projecting expectation onto the other, and the extent to which I was trying to interpret things more positively than they were. It was painful, but it was helpful.

MarbleMarvel

@DrWatson This is true. If I look back on our most special moments, it was me pushing for it. And the reason it got so bad in the end was because I didn't put in that effort anymore.

My dad was abusive too. A really charismatic, good at everything kinda man. Taught me a lot. But not without bloody noses and endless put downs, so I guess I can see why I slipped into this again.

He fooled me in the beginning though. Or if he was as enamored as he appeared, it wore off once he couldn't siphon everything good out of me.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

@MarbleMarvel I want to apologize for something. I just realized that I carelessly hit the wrong emoji when I reacted to you post. I meant to click the hug, but apparently I clicked the laugh. I have done this before with other people -- my eyes seem to confuse the two for some reason. I have changed it just now.

MarbleMarvel

@DrWatson no worries at all hun. I have done the same thing a bunch lol my screen will shift at the last moment and I'll either hit the wrong emoji or an ad. I assumed that's what happened, or you thought my wording was funny. No offense at all.