Easier said than done!

How do you get over a broken heart? Not everyone believes a heart can actually break but I beg to differ. I feel actual physical pain as well as the knots in my stomach. The heavy feeling in my chest. The constant ache. The anxiety when memories can't be forgotten. The feeling of betrayal when you have invested so much time into someone, only to have them not treat you the way treated them. Not have the same level of loyalty given back to you. Why do people hurt people? Is there any justifiable reason to break someone's heart? Time does heal some stuff, but the scab always remains. Any little thing can pick that scab off and bring everything to the surface again. You don't ever really heal, you just continue and try and mask it, until the next betrayal happens and it resurfaces. So yeh just wondering can a broken heart ever mend?

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UBotMate

Nothing which is broken can ever be the exact same again, but it can still come to do everything that it used to do and it can even do it better and be stronger than ever before. The only thing which can't be returned is your innocence, of that which affected you.

The key components to recovery are time, will and effort. You have to be patient, you have to want it and you have to work for it. Of course we all want the pain to go away so that seems like a no brainer, but wanting to be better means being prepared to truly accept and make peace with what has happened. We can always choose to hold on to the grief for dear life and some people do. They can't always be blamed for that because some losses are so great and so impactful. Nevertheless, you have to choose to live on if you want life to be fulfilling again and you have to choose more than just existence.

rawandauthentic · 46-50, F

@UBotMate But what if it's just the straw that broke the camels back. The one that pushed you over the edge. The last in a long line? How do you deal then?

UBotMate

@rawandauthentic That's where will comes in. You have to want to get better. When you no longer do then you likely never will, at least until such time as you find the will to go on. There are no physical limitations on our ability to recover from heartbreak, it just comes down to willpower.

rawandauthentic · 46-50, F

@UBotMate It just seems life happens and keeps happening even when you want it to stop. I know I am flawed and that is possibly why I attract the things that can go wrong, and I am working on myself, but it seems there is always more work to do and more room for improvement. I have memories from 10 or 15 or 20 years ago that no longer hurt so much, but at the time felt like they were going to kill me, but the scars remain. And you just keep asking why? Like why does this keep happening.