A divorce. Separation

I powered through it but we were very peaceful. We never wanted to hurt each other, just go our own way and coparent as best we could. Emotionally, I was relieved and scared, but excited. I didn't spend much time dwelling on it, just made the changes I wanted to make. All the best to you. Everyone is different and there is no shame in it not working out.

The emotional pain I went through and I was only with the woman 4 years was the worst pain I ever went through in all my life .
If you going through something tough and painful keep it in the day , day by day .
Some days might be good and others not so good . You don't have to be a relationship for those days to happen either .
No one is fully good all the time everyday .
All I can say is I feel sorry for you for the pain your going through cause it's pure raw feelings and the only way you go through those feelings is keep it in the day .
Let yourself go mad if it you do go mad . You should leave that happen also cause eventually in time you be able to go back to yourself cause your spirit never forgets when you loose yourself . There's a meditation quote I heard from Buddishim cause I'm very open with different religious beliefs and it's says "
Even in the darkest hours the Buddha will always be able to hear " . The moral of the story is you"ll eventually get back to yourself .😊

Both times I wanted out. Made it easier

It was easy. Just got my stuff and moved out. The tough part was the legalities around it. And a lot of that was driven by my ex-wife's friends who transferred their anger and bitterness to her. I took the high road, left a lot on the table because money had the potential to make the whole thing a total train wreck. Life's too short. And today we're good friends. Sometimes things just don't work out. Different paths. No need for anger, resentment or regret. Close a chapter and open the next one.

I cut everyone off for about a month. I needed to focus on anything but family. Then I wallowed in self pity for way too long. Don’t do that. Then I moved 3000 miles away.

I've caused at least 10 divorces if that counts for anything

I initiated it so it wasn't too stressful.

I actually handled it pretty well.