I Cry A lot

My boyfriend has done a lot of unkind things to me. I have tried to forgot them and move on but they still really hurt me. The newest thing was. He told me after a fight I needed to lose weight because I will get fat. I am borderline over weight. Since then I lost 9 lbs. I feel like over the course of us dating he has destroyed my self confidence. He wants to move in together and start a life. I am losing attraction to him. I also realize i am depend on him. I am afraid no one else will like me and i'm afraid to leave. I'm working on losing the extra weight and spending more time on my appearance. I started self harming again and i'm very struggle with thoughts of hurting myself at times. I just feel heart broken and lost. idk.