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The great dilemma....I don't want to have children?

In this economy. I'm afraid I won't be able to give them the best when they deserve it. My boyfriend and I have had a severe disagreement on this. As much as I really love him, I think this will end things between us. I'm extremely depressed. I don't want to leave him. Yet it's been an extremely rocky week. Probably the worst one. I feel horrible. I handled it very poorly as well.
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emiliya · 26-30, F
Are you sure the economy is the reason you feel this way?

In my experience, children are not expensive. They need our love, and practical things like food, clothing, and shelter. We are supposed to breastfeed our babies when born. At 4–6 months, you can start giving them food as well. My babies were all big, as their father is big, and I am healthy. When they have food, it is only small portions. They do not have bigger portions until they get older. I assume you already have shelter? Clothes for children are not expensive.

The next things are books and toys. Do children need lots of toys? They want to be playing with you; they are interested in you. College isn't necessary unless they are intelligent enough to study a worthwhile subject. It is unfortunate that jobs now often require degrees, but maybe they are jobs your children do not want to be doing. I am going to have the money to always look after my children. I don't care about money for myself, but I also don't want my children to feel like they have to participate in this sham world. It doesn't bother me if they don't go to college or get a good job, as long as they know about the things they need to know about. I will teach them everything I can. Their happiness is what matters.

The sad reality is that people are selfish and do not want to share their lives with their offspring.
swirlie · 31-35, F
@emiliya
You either live in a 'commune' or belong to the church of scientology, or both.

I've heard rhetoric before like you've described the raising of children and what you're describing only works effectively in settings like I've described above, or in Mennonite communities who live exactly like you've described works for you and your family.
emiliya · 26-30, F
@swirlie I have no community. I used to be Jewish, and now I am trying to be Catholic.

Why don't you think it can work? Do we live in a world where materialism is all that matters? Why can't our children be ours?
swirlie · 31-35, F
@emiliya
You were once Jewish and now you're trying to be Catholic? I can assure you that staying Jewish is a better bet than trying to embrace something as fake and mind-controlling as being Catholic.

For whatever reason you have for going down that road, you will be disappointed with the results in the not too distant future.

They are not your children. They are God's children. You are only the bearer of God's children and your children are not your possessions.
emiliya · 26-30, F
@swirlie Why do you have that view of Catholicism? It is a rich faith and understands the sacrifice Jesus made. It understands how God works. Catholicism is aware of the evils in the world. The sanctity of life matters in Catholicism.

Can you help me understand your point about Judaism? Are you saying it has fewer expectations? Fewer demands? That is never a good thing in religion, but you would be wrong anyway. Non-Jewish westerners tend to think that a Jew is a secular person from New York. Judaism does have demands, a lot of them. It has demands about whom you can marry, as in the ethnicity they should belong to. It is not enough for them to belong to your religion; they have to be born to Jewish parents, the same kind of Jewish parents. Jewish parents who are still Jewish, Hebrew Jewish. We have hundreds of laws, and traditional Judaism is strict. It is stricter than Catholicism.

Believe it or not, abortion also used to be a controversial practice in Israel. It is only in recent years that this has changed somewhat. Women still have to ask for permission from a committee, and the language used is what a modern woman like you would consider archaic.

“They are not your children. They are God's children. You are only the bearer of God's children and your children are not your possessions.”

They are not my possessions. We all belong to God. However, God gave us our children to raise, not for other people to raise. He also does not want us to be seduced by this material world, or think that it is necessary to our survival. What else does our child need beyond practical necessities and our love?
swirlie · 31-35, F
@emiliya
What is the meaning of Easter, emilia?
emiliya · 26-30, F
@swirlie Jesus was resurrected. He walked the Earth for 40 days, and then he ascended to Heaven. To commemorate his resurrection, we have Easter.
swirlie · 31-35, F
@emiliya
That is correct. However, the Catholic religion specifically teaches that Easter is about the crucifixion, NOT about the resurrection. They can't get off their kick about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins which is absolute nonsense.