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what is everyone’s standards in a relationship?

i swear i don’t have any.
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Rudboy41 · 41-45, M
Besides blatant cheating and lying, or swearing at me. i dont seem to have any standards either ,and i also seem to ignore other red flags,

In my 20's i used to be really stuck up about the potential lover's body count and bedroom history but i got over it as i got some more dating experience.

For me personally, i think that i aquired my dating standards by listening to friends horror stories and going "i dont ever wanna be that guy"
hollyyoung · 18-21, F
@Rudboy41 people in their 20s are still stuck about about it. i don’t know why body count even matters to people. it’s not something i would ever ask someone about. i think maybe men that care so much are just scared of not being able to compare sexually to the woman’s past partners but that’s just a guess
Rudboy41 · 41-45, M
@hollyyoung you're spot on, for men its stems from a deep insecurity, even if the count is low like she says she says "oh ive only been with two others before you",

we immediately ask ourselves two things (1) is she lying to not look like a hoe? (2) gosh she's had experience..what if its more than mine and what if im not as good in bed as her past lovers, if so will she treat this as a mistake?

-- because lets be honest, once we have our clothes off we are vunerable too, and those what ifs about size, performance etc creep in, especially if its a girl ive only been dating a short while, now she's seen me as the whole package...hows it gonna go after this?.. Thats what the body count thing was about for me as a guy.

Oh lastly, i almoat forgot, have a standard about one night stands, if im gonna have one the must be a possibility for at least two ons, otherwise i wont do it. Because it hurts like hell when i have one and she doesnt call again afterwards, then it feels like i was her mistake and that huuuurts like a red hot poker in my chest.
hollyyoung · 18-21, F
@Rudboy41 yeahh one night stands can be rough if you’re not built for that type of thing. but i wouldn’t take it personally if they don’t call back the next day, the whole point of a one night stand is that it’s one and done