Struck by lightning twice

So I've reconnected with an old situationship recently and we've been chatting it up for the past several months quite frequently. See, we met last year, and it ended really badly and with me saying some hurtful stuff because during the time that I was trying to get with her, she started to entertain a guy for her own "financial gains" as she framed it. Anyways, I was so hurt by the entire situation, I opted to leave to try and mend whatever was left of me. I went no contact for approx 3 months and then reconnected to apologize for all the hurtful things I said. Honestly, even though I knew my feelings were still very strong for her, I had no intention of us being friends and talking on a regular. The thing is, she kept messaging me nonetheless and by the time I know it, we're back to talking often and my feelings grew even stronger. Now, I must say I remained cognizance (or tried to) of how she hurt me in the past so I kept a level head and tried my best to not allow myself to go back there.

During the time we reconnected, I never once asked about who she was dating because I felt like not knowing was just so much better. She kept asking me about people I was seeing and asking me in detail about my dates and all that. It was clear that on multiple occasion she was flirting with me and I reciprocated. So all that false hope resurfaced and I started imagining us back together like an idiot.

So in the past couple of days I felt myself slipping and I decided to ask her last night in the most subtle manner if she was seeing anyone. She started telling me about how things ended really badly with the guy she met before her and I separated and that she was in love with someone else but they're in an open relationship. She further went on to say that if she found someone and it worked, then what she and that guy have would end. All this time listening to her my body is crimpled and i'm shaking uncontrollably. It felt like someone dropped an anchor on me and i'm there playing it cool being as nonchalant t as possible and telling her how happy I was for her. I couldnt sleep the entire night after our phone call and my thoughts were racing at 1000mph. I woke up this morning thinking how did I allow myself to go back there? I immediately plummeted because I cant believe I was thinking things would be different this time around but they never really change and i've now accepted that. Thinking about it, she seems like the person to never want to commit fully to anyone and I could never be with someone like that but it still hurts a lot.

Now i'm just here trying to figure out how to move forward because I know talking to her like we did is going to be too hurtful and knowing her, she will probably continue talking to me and leading me on.