I hurt someone before 💔

Okay here’s the thing. I hurt my ex so bad before and leave him so broken that he wants to end his life and threaten me with that. We were living together. I am so bad. It’s just that i got tired of everything because we are not growing up. I ask him to find work that pays better but he doesn’t have self confidence. He always tell me he wants to work outside the country which pays better but no opportunity yet and try to tell him for the moment work here and grab opportunity if there’s any better. I tried to understand him. He and his family is so good to me I don’t have a say to that. But i got tired because everytime we go out or travel it is always plus 1 to me on expenses. I understand that. Because when he has money he always spend it for me even its just a cent. He always give everything to me he always prioritize me before his self. I fell out but he tried to win me back and i realized what we’ve been through and still love him. Then i got tired with my job and quit for few months. Then i found a new job then there everything started to change again. I got tired again on our situation. I will be honest i tried to entertain some guy we chatted he got my attention because im so tired with our situation and he caught me read our chats but nothing really wrong with its just chatting and saying good morning and good night but I know its not good since i had fun chatting. But before he caught me i tried to broke up with him and he just wont just until he caught me. He blame the guy and chat the guy and threaten him, and he threaten me as well that he will post us on social media and he will suicide. I ask him for a space and to move since we are living together but he don’t want to and threaten me with many things but i tried to make him understand that we are so toxic with each other. He kind of understand but still he want to make sure after the space we will get back. He really become a different person he is scary and kind of become bad because of me. He broke up with his friends because he became close minded and get mad to them because they tried to advice him to forget me and they understand me.

Then, he decided to move city and have a goal this time for himself which i support, and we still remain friends and chat with each other, I try to boost him and happy that he is trying and now have a goal. He pursue going outside the country and he still wants to get me if he get the chance to go outside, i feel proud for him

He ask me to not be in a relationship until he find someone. Which I understand

But lately, I kind of heard that he seems dating someone but he denied it dont know if he is just trying to make me jealous. I don’t know if its true. He wants me to visit him and travel on the city. i feel hurt and cant imagine him caring for someone other than me. I don’t know if i will go since i think I’ll just be crying if i saw him with that girl and may he just plan to get back to what ive done. I just realize his worth now that he is not with me and he might have someone he care and love other than me.

I know this is my karma and deserve this. 😭😭😭

LadyGrace ·

I only could go halfway through and I could see the problem right away.

STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS TOO TOXIC TO CONTINUE --- PERIOD!

You both know the relationship is toxic, yet you both claim to try to want to save it. You both need to be honest with yourself and see that it's not going to work and you both need to move on and never contact each other again. Why make yourself miserable everyday? It's over. It's not working and you're only making each other more sick. It's time to move on. And mostly stop blaming yourself. Don't make excuses for his poor behavior and attitude. You know what needs to be done. Just do it and don't look back.

He also sounds very scary and threatening to you. That's all the more reason to get out of there now and don't tell him what you're going to do! I don't know why women do this when men want to hurt them. Somehow they feel like a threat will make everything okay and everything will change and be hunky-dory but no it's not! Tell yourself the truth!!! He is abusive and you need to get out now not tomorrow, now! You pack up your things when he is gone and don't leave any trail. Plan it carefully and don't tell anybody else where you're going because they will definitely tell him even if they say they won't. You're an abusive situation here and your life could be at stake and with him threatening to kill himself, that's just sick in itself. He's not going to do anything like that so stop believing that. It's just a threat to get more control of you. He's a narcissist! That's what they do. If you don't get as far away as you can now, you're going to stay in trapped in that and he will just emotionally knock you down to where you think you're nothing and you stay because you feel like you can't do anything by yourself and that's what they depend on. Don't even think about this twice. Get out!!! The man doesn't love you. He just wants control of you. Love to narcissists only means one thing... Control. They don't know what love is and they never will. I'm telling you for your own sake get out of there now and never look back and change your phone number!!! If you don't, he will make your life miserable and don't take any kind of messages from him from anybody or you will find yourself right back in the same frame of mind that you don't need. Love yourself enough to get out and I pray to God you don't have any children. If you do then that's all the more recent you need to get out now because they don't need to be in that sick environment. Nothing's going to change so don't believe it will.