Needing to VENT

I know I shouldn't but something keeps him on my mind. I fell like I should let him go but he keeps showing back up and he's on my mind costately. His Specialty is ghosting me and then he text me about once a month and gives me some lame excuse. The last time he told me to leave him alone so I took his number out of my phone so I wouldn't even be tempted. I woke up this morning with a text from him. I love his so much but I also know I should not respond but I am going to because I love him. I am not sure if he is capable of giving me anything but why not try I am almost 60 and just want to crawl in a hole and disappear because that is the way I feel.